Jezebel |h.s|

Forty Three

Isabella

"I missed you, baby."

I cuddle further into his chest, my eyelids feeling heavy. "Missed you too." No I didn't.

There isn't a universe where I missed Christian. Even after everything Harry did to me, I still miss him more than I've ever missed Chris. But Harry doesn't want me anymore.

Chris won't judge me for getting drunk. He'll keep my secrets. He'll give me whatever I want so I don't have to feel all these intense emotions for a little bit. This is something I'd never admit to. Kat could catch me with Christian and I'd still lie about it. This is probably my lowest and nobody admits to being at their lowest.

"Come back to Afterlife..." He mumbles into my neck, his hands sliding down lower on my body.

"I can't... Kat wouldn't like it...." I tilt my head back for him, sighing when he doesn't listen. "Christian..."

"Who cares what she thinks?"

"I do. Come on, Chris. You have to go. I don't want her to see you."

He smirks, watching as I get out of bed and go to my dresser to get fresh clothes. "She doesn't know you're getting fucked up again? Last time you fell off she was the first person you told."

"Last time I fell off, I told her and she sent me to rehab and I got sober for two years. This is just for a little bit and then I'm getting sober again. Just one more week and then I'm cutting this out."

"You said that last week, Izzie."

"Yeah well, last week I meant that I was cutting out the coke. And I did. Next week, I'm done drinking."

He chuckles, getting out of bed. "Sure, Iz. Next week you'll stop." He sounds sarcastic, like he doesn't believe in me. "What did that guy do to you? I couldn't get you to drink for two years but this guy... He got you to drink again."

I look forward at the shirt in my hands, recognizing it as one of Harry's. Maybe if I was sober I would be better at keeping it a secret. But I'm not even close to being sober. "He had a wife."

Chris nods, wrapping his arms around my waist from behind. "You fell for him?"

With a small nod, I lean back in his arms. "Yeah."

"I'm sorry, baby. I knew he was just gonna hurt you. He just wanted what he couldn't have and tricked you in the process.." He kisses the back of  my head delicately. "It feels good to have you where you belong, Iz."

This isn't where I belong, but I don't have the strength to have that fight. So I nod and let him hold me for a few minutes, letting silent tears fall down my cheeks.

"You're my family, right?" My voice is barely above a whisper.

"I'm your family."

Once we're both dressed, he heads out of the apartment. I take a few minutes to freshen myself up and try to convince myself I'm sober enough to be around Kat. I know that it's wrong to be lying to her, but I just don't want to disappoint her.

When she gets home, I'm in my room with Rory. I listen as she puts her coat away and takes off her shoes. Rory barks a little bit, alerting me to the person entering our house but once she knows it's Kat she stops and calms down again.

After a while she peeks her head in with a smile. "Hey girlie. How was your day?"

I shrug, twirling my finger in Rory's fur. "Fine. Boring. How was yours?"

She sighs and walks in further, sitting down on the edge of my bed. "Boring too. Work sucks, but what's new, you know."

"Yeah. I get it."