Jezebel |h.s|

Forty Eight

Isabella

I can't remember the last time I went to an aquarium. Probably when I was younger with my parents. I spent the entire train ride to Brooklyn trying to figure it out.

The last few weeks have been interesting to say the least. My legal case against Christian has begun, Harry's divorce has been filed, Adriana moved to Los Angeles, and life seems to have slowed down.

Harry and I are slowly rebuilding what we once had. Only this time, it's a real relationship. He's not paying me monthly, there are no contracts, though he still does love to put his card down for every little thing. We haven't been rushing to get back to the place we were, instead we're enjoying our time getting to know each other better.

I'll be honest, it was a bit weird at first when we started to date. Going out to dinner without the expectation of sex afterward, going on actual dates to museums or playing board games at my apartment. I've never had this type of relationship, and yet with Harry it feels so safe. He's been so gentle and understanding of my need to slowly get back into this.

There are still things I'm trying to get over, like that night Adriana wanted me to see them. But we talk about it whenever it gets too much for me, and I like that we do that. We can talk about our issues and make progress instead of just fighting and not getting anywhere. I think that insecurity will always be there, but I do my best to put my trust in him that he won't do that again. We aren't perfect, but isn't that what being human is all about?

Because we decided to take our time getting back into a relationship, and because of my sobriety, we've been keeping our relationship a secret from Ottilie. She comes to dance class with Melissa and is clearly so much happier now that Adriana has left, but she has no clue that I've been sneaking around with her dad again.

We weren't sure if our relationship would even work out again. I mean, things changed and as sad as it would be, it wouldn't be too surprising if we couldn't make it work. The last thing either of us wanted was to get Ottilie's hopes up. I told Harry about her confession to me and we both agreed it was best she didn't know until we were certain things were good between us.

Which leads us to today. The day that Harry and I agreed to bring Ottilie to the aquarium to let her know that we're together. I know deep down she's going to be so happy and excited, but I can't help but feel nervous.

I know I shouldn't compare myself to Adriana, but she's her mom. There will always be a bond there that I'll never understand. A part of me worries that she misses her mom and she'll be devastated that I'm back. That I split her parents up.

As I pace slowly outside the entrance to the aquarium, I try to calm all the nerves coursing through my body. I feel stupid for letting them all get to me, but I just know that whatever happens, Harry will get us through it.

It doesn't stop my heart from pounding in my chest when Harry's black car pulls into a parking spot across the street. It's rare that I ever see him driving, but I guess he wanted to be able to take the day slow.

I pick at my nails as he gets out of the car and goes around to help Ottilie out. Sure enough, the almost four year old jumps out of the car and holds her dad's hand. As always, she has the cutest little outfit and a skip in her step as she talks to Harry.

Harry catches my eye from across the street, offering me a small smile before looking back down at his daughter. I watch as he crouches down to tell her something and points in my direction. It doesn't take long for the little one to notice me, a big smile taking over her face. I wave slightly, a smile creeping up on my lips.

The second they're across the street, Ottie's little arms are secure around my legs in a big hug. "Bellie!" She never did stop using that nickname.

"Hi Ottie!"