Part 21

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Y/N's POV:

The next couple of days felt really weird. I'm not even sure why I said Alex's name, I hadn't seen her in like 2 months, it must have just been what Jill had said playing on my mind I tried to reassure myself. 

Abby had spent the last couple of nights with some team mates, which wasn't completely unusual but it made it harder for me to figure out whether she had heard me or not. Right now I was currently waiting outside her apartment in an Uber so we could go to the airport together. She put her suitcase in the back and got into the back seats, greeting me with a quick kiss on the cheek. Okay that was a good sign right? 

We got onto the plane to fly directly to California and Abby told me she was tired and was going to sleep. I stayed awake and watched a movie and a half before I fell asleep too. It was already a long flight but the uncertainty about my relationship with Abby just made it feel ten times longer. Honestly I probably deserved this. It was probably some sort of karma, I wasn't sure.

After what felt like days in the air we finally landed in the golden state. We didn't talk all that much as we got picked up by a driver who drove us to our training camp for this one and a half week session. We were among the last of our team mates to arrive so the conference room was already full when we walked in. We weren't exactly hiding our relationship, but we weren't showing it off in any way either. I hugged a few people as I went to take up the empty seat next to Kelley and Abby took the remaining empty seat on the other side of the room next to Becky.

I could feel a set of blue eyes burning into the back of my head but I didn't dare to look back at them. Jill started her welcoming speech I had heard a thousand times before, and I unknowingly began to lose focus on her words. Kelley nudged me slightly, "so how is it with Abby?", she asked in a whisper.

"I fucked up", I told her as quietly as I could.

"What did you do?", Kelley asked, clearly amused.

"...I said the wrong name".

"When?"

"When she said I love you", I confessed to my best friend, who burst out laughing then quickly covered her mouth, apologising profusely for disturbing the team meeting. I bit back a smile at her idiocy.

"Did she hear?", Kelley muttered quietly.

I shrugged, "I can't tell".

Kelley was about to speak again when someone hissed from behind, "Hey O'Hara", it was Megan. We both turned around to look at her and I noticed then that she was sitting next to Alex, and I finally made eye contact with her after two months away. "Shut the fuck up guys", Megan whispered as she tried not to laugh, "but also I want to know what you're talking about later".

Kelley and I stuck out tongues out at her, and I noticed a small smile playing on Alex's lips before I turned around again. Alex's lips I thought, gosh they were so soft, and perfect, and- Kelley nudged me out of my daze.

"By the way, whose name did you say?", she asked with a smirk.

"Now I know you know the answer to that O'Hara", I shoved her and she ended up falling off the end of her seat as everyone turned around to laugh at her.

"Y/N...", Jill warned but I could see the glint of humour in her eyes, she definitely knew more than she let on I thought to myself. Jill then began to talk through the room arrangements which I didn't really pay attention to, I just knew that as expected I was rooming with Kelley, and I could see Abby looking at me from the other side of the room with a sad look in her eyes. I went over to her as soon as everyone started to get up and move out the room, and I wrapped my arms around her shoulders and rested my chin on the top of her head as I felt her hands going up and down my back. 

I noticed the room was empty as Abby slowly moved her head to rest on my chest. "I heard Y/N", she spoke quietly. I froze completely. "I'm not mad...I mean I'm not pleased about it but it was a mistake...just don't say it again", she told me as she looked up at me with a forced smile.

"I'm so sorry about it Abby, it's just what Jill had said earlier I think it was stuck on my mind", I told her.

"Wait what did Jill say?", she asked me, confused. Fuck fuck fuck. Trying thinking before you speak for once Y/N.

"Uhh she had just said something about needing to call Alex after me to let her know she was coming to camp". Abby just hummed in response as we hugged for a while longer and then split up to go to our rooms.


"KELLEY SHE HEARD", I exclaimed as soon as I entered our room. "What?", she asked confused, and I found her lazing on one of the beds with both Megan and Sonnett. "Nah nothing", I tried to recover as I glared at her slightly. 

Megan sat up to face me as I went to sit on my own bed. "So you and Dahlkemper huh?", she asked with a smirk.

"Shut up Rapinoe", I hid my face in a pillow as they all laughed at me. All of three of them continued to tease me until it was finally time to go downstairs and have lunch with everyone. I thought their taunting would finally stop but as everyone has sat down to eat, Megan started a chant that most of the teamed joined in with. 

"Y/N AND ABBY, SITTING IN A TREE, K-I-S-S-I-N-G", was repeated again and again and again to the point where I wanted to cut my own ears off. Abby who was sitting next to me buried her face in my arm as she tried not to display her blush whilst I practically pleaded my team mates to shut up. I spotted Alex at the far end of the table, she wasn't singing. She was looking down and playing with her food, looking annoyed. She felt my eyes on her and looked up at me, and I noticed she looked...hurt?

Eventually all my team mates stopped singing as they got tired and went back to eating their food. I sat down and started to think through what was going on. I was feeling so conflicted. I didn't want to hurt Abby in any way, and everything with us was perfect. Our personalities, our bodies, our lips, everything meshed harmoniously. So why had I spent every free second I had over the last two months yearning over a blue eyed girl who until then had only served to annoy and irritate me at every turn possible. 

No. Abby was good. Abby was kind. Abby was loving. But god what I would do to feel the lips of the blu- No. I stopped my thoughts as quickly as I could. Do not hurt Abby, I repeated to myself over and over, as I felt her hand resting on my knee and she turned to smile at me.

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