do i wanna know? [ERENxF.READER]

sixteen

A/N: A longer chapter for you guys as if I already didn't have the longest chapters ever LOLLL. I want to clarify something for whoever's reading because I think it's important to address as a writer: I don't tolerate y/n hate. I don't understand it, I don't like it, I don't reason with it. Not funny, not cute, and a little weird. 

Not with this story specifically but just in general, it feels like people tend to judge y/n super hard and not the literal assholes in the story (Eren himself included). Let's not hate on a girl for being a girl and having feelings! 

Just be okay with an expressive person like y/n is all I'm saying. Be kinder to y/n PLEASE! All her feelings are valid. plus she's a girl like a girl is NEVER wrong duh 🙄🙄So from here on out, let's be a little more rational with my gurl y/n. 

I am NOT calling anyone out by the way! I just felt the need to address it in case more readers stop by and start to say shit that pisses me off. Anyway, enjoy this chapter!- ian :3

✩✩✩✩✩

I relaxed in my room for a bit to kill some time and wait for Mikasa to get up and get better but from how I found her, she wasn't going to recover until later tonight. I could hang out with Armin and Annie. Or Jean and Eren. Sasha and Connie were still asleep. Bertholdt and Reiner were just a gray area since I'm still a little weary of them being Colt's friends. And Historia and Ymir were spending the day with Historia's family.

Maybe I should just take the day to myself. Reflect on what was happening in my life and what I'd like to do. Maybe all I wanted to do was look out of the window of my room. Or swim in a pool but play dead to feel like I'm floating. It's fun. Maybe I should start to enjoy my solitude instead of feeling like I have to be alone.

As a child, it was always a feeling I couldn't run from. That wasn't a choice. I was alone. And growing up, I always thought my now quiet life was always going to be filled with some chasm of sadness. I don't know how to be alone properly. Not in a way where I feel like I need to get away from it all (although, I should...), but more so...I've never been able to sit with myself and just think about what I want for dinner. Or what color I should paint my nails.

It's always a road down self-pity. It's an emphasis in my life it seems. I just want someone to listen to me and not kiss my tears because they want to take the pain away from me. Maybe I just need someone to nod and listen and not speak about it in such a pitiful manner.

I guess I'm not a big fan of empathy. Not like I can't handle it. But it never seems to help me. It comforts me, sure. But it never helps. It kind of just makes me sulk in it a little more. Feeling seen has its pros and cons.

I sighed as I watched the pair of birds fly away as far as I could. They were tiny little dots before I suddenly got a call from Dad. I observed the phone and questioned if I wanted to answer it. But I did. And I groaned before answering.

"Hello?" I answer.

"Your mom's in labor. Where are you?" He asks me. My eyebrows creased and my eyes slightly widened from the news.

"What? She's in labor? Since when?" I ask him, still thrown off by his quick speaking and big news.

"Since she called me two minutes ago. Where are you?" He asks again. I sighed.

"I'm far from Forks. I'm in Odiha," I answer. I hear him sigh.

"She's alone Y/n. I would go but I'm working and...That's not my kid. Wound is still fresh, you know. You need to go be with her," He tells me. My eyebrows remained creased as I stared out of the window, observing the rest of the view to distract me.