Begin Again - Dramione

Devil at the door

Hermione's POV

In the process of letting go you will lose many things from the past but you will find yourself. It will be a permanent self, rooted in awareness and creativity. Once you have captures this, you have captured the world. - Deepak Chopra

Clutching the letter tightly in my grip, I made my way back towards the common room. I was sure my face looked like I'd seen Voldemort being reborn again or something similar but I couldn't control the troubling emotions that were wreaking havoc in my mind.

"..everyone and specially you people would like nothing more than to bury the gruesome thoughts of the war deep somewhere..."

"...achieve full peace of mind..."

"...face this last demon..."

Deep down, somewhere in the dark recesses of my soul, untouched and ignored since the war, I could feel the need of a catharsis. Ever since the war had been over, specifically, the moment Voldemort had dropped dead, it had seemed like a heavy bulk had been lifted off my chest.

There were times during the battle, when I just wanted to give up. There were also times, when seeing the things Harry had to go through made me want to break down- I was a girl after all. But there was that determination in his eyes, in his actions, that gave me the strength, to hold on, to be there for my friends even when the world was tearing apart right before my eyes.

I'd buried it all, the memories, the feelings, the thoughts. In a way, I'd consider myself almost greedy for mental serenity. I craved it.

"Watch out young lady!" A shrill voice yelled, just before I walked right into the portrait of the Fat Lady.

" Ow!" rubbing my nose, I looked up sheepishly and uttered the password. Muttering about "insolent fools" and whatnot, the portrait swung open and I climbed in to find Harry and Ron by the fire side playing chess.

" Hey there! What happened?" Ron asked, around a mouthful of creme cakes.

" Hi. I..well.." Both of them stared at me, but I couldn't exactly phrase my thoughts. That sure was a historic moment, and I for one could bet my Latest edition of 'Hogwarts : A History' that if a slytherin would've seen me in this state, might have died of shock.

" Out with it already 'mione!" Ron groaned. Taking a deep breathe, I relayed all that had happened in McGonagall's office earlier.

" Blimey!"

" Holy Pants of Merlin!"

Harry went quiet after the little exclamation and for some reason, and which totally surprised me, Ron too. We all sat in complete silence for some time, each lost in their own arduous thoughts.

What was it that was worrying me? I couldn't pin point one reason. Maybe it was the fact that I'd have another tiring task crammed into my already hectic schedule? Or maybe that the future of the coming generations in regards of their knowledge about the truth now rested solely on my shoulders? Or perhaps that working with Malfoy would be difficult. In any case, I still had to do it, by the looks of it. Whether it be easy or drive me insane.

" I think I'm just going to sign it and go hand it over to Mcgonagall now," I broke the heavy silence. I turned to look at my two best friends, crime partners and life savors, and they stared right back at me, each with understanding and support in their eyes.

" I'll be off then." With that, I signed the document, making a copy of it- just in case and set off for McGonagall's office.

There were still twenty minutes till curfew, but I couldn't possibly stand outside the office, or Filch might catch me and throw some merry detention my way, so I knocked on her door and walked in.