haze / afi

part 63. thoughts and worries

waking up the next morning, ashton is sure he hasn't slept much, worrying about violet, thinking about what she said to him last night before she fell asleep. there's a lot to think about after all the conversations they had yesterday.

in bed, violet is tucked against ashton, she let go of his hand after shuffling through the night. still fast asleep, ashton leans up, cautiously removing his arms from around her. he presses a kiss to the top of her head before quietly leaving the bed.

he picks up his multicoloured robe, taking it into the bathroom with him to put on after he freshens himself up. after doing so, he leaves the room, closing the door behind him.

going to the kitchen first, he makes himself a cup of coffee, hoping it'll wake him up enough to think properly. he picks it up, taking it down the hall and outside with him. deciding on sitting on the front deck, on his sofa that is positioned just in front of the fire pit.

he takes a small sip of his coffee before placing it down in front of him. sitting back against the sofa, legs crossed. the warmth of his robe just about keeping him warm enough in the cold morning air. sun shining through the trees onto him, giving a slight sense of warmth.

now he can let his mind wonder. think about everything that happened yesterday.

violet told him about nathan. she explained what she went through, the way he used to treat her, the fact he assaulted her. that's something ashton will never forget. violet, his girlfriend, the person he loves, was treated in such a horrible way. he wishes he could've been there, could've known her when it happened, he could've been there to comfort her, to help her through the pain.

even the fact that her parents don't treat her well is on his mind. he wonders how they reacted when she told them about what happened. did they support her? did they blame her? he closes his eyes, shaking his head at the thought.

he thinks about last night, violet wanting him to take a bath with her, letting him wash her and feeling okay with him being there. the fact that she cried at the time after feeling a love she's never felt before.

before sleeping, she exhaustedly told him she had been depressed. he didn't expect her to say it. and within a moment later she was saying those three words she'd been so hesitant to say. i love you. they came out as if she hadn't been worried to say it at all.

sure, she got emotional when he told her that he loves her. but he didn't think he was the sort of person who would think on something like that, that those words would make him emotional too. perhaps he loves this girl more than he's letting on.

he isn't sure how long he's been sitting outside for, surrounded by his thoughts. head resting in his hand, eyes closed while he tries to think straight. having not expected to hear the door to his cabin click open.

"there you are," her small voice snaps him back to reality. she walks around the front of the sofa. "wondered where you went."

she has a smile on her face, clearly feeling better than she did yesterday. she's wearing the brown robe he gave her, sitting down next to ashton, immediately changing to laying with her head in his lap. he instinctively starts playing with her hair, a few strands escaped from the braids.

ashton is usually first to say good morning, and seeing as he didn't greet her when she walked out here, she knows something is going on.

"everything okay?" she asks. "i'm used to waking up with a note if you get up before me."

he didn't leave a note.

it slipped his mind. too preoccupied with other thoughts, "i forgot to write one," he sighs. "i'm sorry."