No tears left to cry

Practicing with ollie again

Tw!!! Self harm

-Skip to a couple days later-

I started feeling much better recently but it turns out it was a random bug that was going round. It soon went after a day or 2. Luckily dad or cami didn't get it. I felt really down lately with my mental health but I haven't told anyone since I didn't want to let anyone worry about me. I made a promise to ollie we could practice some script parts so we met at my managers studio and gent ready into our actions positions

"Connie I love you okay you drive me fucking crazy every night. It hurts me knowing I have to stare at her and not be able to kiss you and hold you and calll you mine" Jamie said angrily. "Jamie calm down okay I'm sorry" i said softly while 'tears' were streaming down my face. "No Connie you don't get how I feel I can't sleep at night because I love you Connie and words can't explain it" he said sniffling. "J-Jamie I do know you feel because I-I feel it too I've loved you since the day I saw you at school" I said. "What no you don't you love the guy from the football team" he said. "No I don't I love you Jamie" I said holding his face and looking him dead in the eye. "I love you Connie miller." He said. "I love you too Jamie cooper" I said.

We both stopped before we had to do the make out scene and we weren't going to do that unless we were actually filming it. And let's be honest I've never kissed anybody.

"Hey you okay you've been a bit off lately" ollie asked

"Oh um yeah I'm just dealing with school right now that's all" I said putting my coat on.

"Oh okay is everything okay" he asked

"Yeah everything's fine don't worry" I said giving him a small smile

We both decided to call it a day and go home. I walked through the door quietly and I heard giggling which I instantly knew it was cami. I peaked round the corner and saw her and Chris making a cake and there was flour all over them both. They were laughing and attacking each other with more flour. They looked so happy without me. I ran off upstairs but luckily the stairs weren't facing the kitchen so they didn't see me. I closed my door and locked it as i cried and I took off my bag and coat and hug them up. I ran into my bathroom and I locked both doors and I went under my sink and grabbed the blade. I gulped at the sight of it. I laid down in the tub and lifted my sleeves up. I swiped the blade across my skin whilst I was shaking and crying. Just like that 9 months clean of self harm gone. I did cut after cut after cut. I saw there was blood everywhere and I could barely move. I sobbed and let myself bleed out. I heard a knock on the door.

"W-who is it" I said

"It's dad I wanna talk to you" he said through the door

"I-is cami there" I asked

"No she's downstairs watching a movie I saw your shoes by the door I was just coming to check on you" he said

"I-I can't reach the door" I said

"What do you mean Morgan are you okay" he asked worried

"I umm look under my plant pot there's a key for the door under it" I said finally giving in bc I need help this hurt like a mother fucker.

I heard the plant pot lift and the door click. The door swung open as dad saw me in the tub bleeding out. He gasped and stumbled back a bit.

"I'm so sorry" I sobbed

Dad didn't say anything and helped me out the tub. He held me in his arms and rocked us slowly and kissed my head.

"Shhh it's okay princess" he said as his voice broke

I sobbed into his chest as I heard him let out a few sobs.

"It hurts dad I really hurts I can tell this anymore" I said crying harder

"No don't say that you can do this princess your a bright girl with a bright future don't ruin it now I love you so much okay" he said wiping my face

I nodded and dad wiped up all the blood and rinsed my arms under the water as the blood moved away from my arms revealing all the cuts. I gulped hoping dad wouldn't be angry at me or send me to a foster home. After I washed the blood off dad helped me wrap my arms up so I could hide them from cami so I didn't want her to be scared.

"Dad" I said softly

"Yes princess" he said

"Are you going to send me to a foster home" I asked truthfully

"What no ofc not your my princess okay and your stuck with me in. Not going to give you away just because you struggle with self harm" he said

I looked at him surprised and he smiled softly at me. I hugged him as he wrapped his big arms around me.

"Hey why don't I take you and cami out tomorrow we could have a father daughter day at the beach or wherever" he said moving my hair behind he ear.

"Can we stay home I don't want to go out it's getting cold" I asked. I just wanted to go to bed and dad nodded at me question.

"Okay come on bed time it's late" dad said

I nodded and dad left downstairs to put cami to bed. I changed into a hoodie and joggers and fun fact. Well not really a fun fact but I haven't eaten in days since my body keeps rejecting food. I told my dad I ate but I really didn't. I didn't want to let him see how skinny I was. I got in bed after turning off the light and turning on my night light. I knocked on my wall 3 times since the wall behind my bed was the wall behind camis bed. 3 knocks ment goodnight. She did 3 taps back and I smiled softly. Dad come into my room a couple minutes later.

"Hey princess I just come to say goodnight" he said coming and giving me a kiss on the head

"Goodnight dad I love you" I said softly.

"You sure your going to be okay" he asked softly

I nodded and gave him a small smile. He smiled back as he kissed my head once more and said goodnight. He got up and left and left my door open and his door open and dad could see me form his bed so he knew I was okay. I saw him fall asleep and I smiled to myself. Dodger came running in a little later and laid with me. I started petting him whilst I closed my eyes. Soon I fell asleep with dodger curled up in my bed.

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