Reincarnated Souls || JJK

36: 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐇𝐚𝐝 𝐌𝐞 𝐅𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐇𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐨 ☁︎

"𝑶𝒏𝒆 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅, 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕𝒔 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒔𝒂𝒊𝒅. 𝑺𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒊𝒏 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒗𝒐𝒊𝒄𝒆 𝒄𝒂𝒖𝒔𝒆𝒅 𝒎𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒏 𝒎𝒚 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒅. 𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒔𝒎𝒊𝒍𝒆 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒄𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒆𝒅 𝒎𝒆"

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-Minji-

To stand in front of 100 people while delivering a speech brought fear. To walk down an aisle with people glaring down at you- unaware of what runs through their mind- the possibilities of everything frightening. To spill out the truth to anyone- can burn down hearts and allow your calloused mind to overthink. It all brought anxiety and welcomed that fiend into the doorsteps of our writhing bodies. I have despised the feeling. Loathed over it and feared the things it did to me. But oh, I should've known those were all child's play- because this. What I'm feeling right now as I get ready for my first operation. Was something I could've never expected. I was a surgeon, I shouldn't be panicking over this yet I did like a coward. This was bad. I can't cut open a laid human being with trembling hands. I thought of backing up. But what was my excuse? That I was scared? I wanted to scoff at myself. I wish someone was here to calm my battered heart. I wish at least it could've been somi- we've gotten along ok, I mean she would've been better than being with him. He's so annoying that it causes me more panic.

I washed my hands, as some people helped me into my scrubs. I think I'm going to vomit. Worse, might do it inside of a body, when I mean inside, I mean actually inside, internal, my legit vomit entering inside and oh my god- just this morning itself Eunwoo had teased me. I can't stand him.

"Hey- hey.." I wanted to glare at him for even coming to me, "What's wrong, you look like you just killed someone"

Oh god. Please go away. I didn't speak. I'll ignore him.

"Doorbells, what's wrong? Chill" His stupid. Stupid hands grazed around my arm and pulled me a bit closer to him, making me face him, I kept my head low. Happy thoughts. Happy thoughts.

"-woah." I startled at the soft impact of his cold fingers beneath my chin, letting my eyes fall on his.

"Leave me alone- nag face" I pushed away his hands, but his hands gripped tightly around my wrist keeping me in place.

"Damn. Don't tell me you're nervous- I mean I get it- but you can't enter with this" he expressed with his hands, "Look you gotta chill. You've been wanting to do this, even said to me 2 weeks ago! You can't become like this now" I was a bit surprised he was even talking like this. And I was unsure whether focusing on my beating heart was better than concerned by his hands on mine, so gentle. So vulnerable.

"Minji. Look at me" I hate how his voice was barely a whisper, pattering out like a wave that can only be heard if you listen carefully, "where's that feisty girl, who wishes to throw me into a bear's mouth? Huh? You can do this" he shook me slightly, trying to put sense into me. I felt the water level in my heart descends slowly, my deluged mind, regaining sanity. I can do this.

"Come on. Deep breaths. 1, 2, 3 in. 1, 2, 3 out"

I stared straight into his eyes, and gave him a small smile, "thanks..." he nodded. He must have realized that his hands were still in mine, because he let them go, and cleared his throat, "Let's go, Dolores"