out of control-frerard

Untitled Part 33

franks pov

(tw, topics like homophobia, transphobia, racism, misogyny, grooming, and assault. shits about to get real.)

when we approached the house, pete was already waiting for us, which i think for the first time ever 'thank god for pete wentz' because he dragged us to a smaller area of the party. 

there weren't many people in the room besides us three, making me much more calm. i didn't expect that i'd ever be calm at a party, but i guess some circumstances maybe it's better.

the three of us are talking, enjoying the much more lowkey music (which really wasn't low key, it was black metal. it felt more low key to me because it's what gerard typically makes me listen to.) till someone comes up behind pete.

he turns around, facing the shorter man. "patrick!" pete exlaims excitedly, his focus completely shifted. "i didn't know you were gonna be here." he says, smiling at the boy. 

"joe invited me" patrick says, smiling back. the two become completely engrossed in their conversation with eachother, and i see gerard's eyebrow furrow. i frown a bit and take their hand, leading them out.

"let's get some water, alright?" i say and he nods.

i know he's worried for mikey, and honestly i'm starting to be too. it's not like pete to be like that with just anyone, even if pete is forgetful as fuck and becomes interested in the first thing that meets his eyes once he's distracted. 

i sigh, leading gerard to the kitchen. i look around for any drinks, but there's only punch. i roll my eyes, not wanting to intrude brendon's fridge, so i pour them a cup of the juice. 

what i didn't know is that that punch wasn't exactly clean. 

i look for another spot that potentially isn't crowded with people having sex but come short, we're stuck in a corner in the large party area. 

i can feel all eyes on us, my face grows red in embarrassment. multiple familiar faces turning and whispering. in another corner someone catches my eyes. gerard looks and his face drops.

"is that..?" i start, examining the group a little better.

"lindsey? yup." he says, their face contorting. i frown.

"shit and that's steve and jimmy." i mumble, looking away. gerard looks down at his cup. their hands are shaking, and he chugs the fluid down.

"do you want to leave?" i ask nervously, starting to reach out for gerard's hand. 

unfortunately someone calls out "HEY" and i wince, knowing it's directed at us, we turn our heads and are face to face with a group of janky looking guys. some of them seem to be drunk.

but the guy talking to us is brendon, the host himself.

"the fuck is up with you guys... are you like, faggots or something?" he slurs out. definitely drunk. 

gerard winces, i bite my lip. 

"what if we were?" i mumble after a minute, looking everywhere but at the eyes on us. brendon's  homophobic remarks were getting everyone's attention now.

gerard's eyes widen and they seem even more nervous. maybe i had fucked up just then, no. i definitely fucked up. and i knew damn well that i was just gonna keep digging the grave.

brendon snorts. "that's makes you fucking weirdos. i dont want weirdos at my fucking party. that thing being here is already enough, it's gotta be fucking confused about what is is. no guy is supposed to be a cheerleader." he sneers.

something in me snaps, i can take the hatred being directed towards me but gerard's hurt face, their trembling figure, that was too much. 

"shut the fuck up brendon!" i shove him back, he stumbles extremely easily. "who are you to decide that i'm weird, that he's weird? you don't even know anything about us. so what if he's a cheerleader? you don't even know why. and if he was trans, what would it matter, he's not sucking your dick!" i spill out, gerard is shaking more as they stare down at the ground. i can feel myself ruining everything with every word that falls out of my mouth. 

"yeah cause he's sucking yours!" another voice calls out, my head snaps over to them and they slip a worried gaze before they try to act like they're tough again. 

"fuck you, radke, who do you think you are spitting out bullshit like that. are you mad cause you aren't getting laid, considering how you fucking hate women?" i say. 

i cant stop myself, i want to so fucking bad to just stop and think about the words falling from my mouth but i can't. 

then, what really seals the deal is jimmy snickering. 

"oh dont even fucking start, euringer. you have got to be one of the worst people here. it's no fucking secret how you spit slurs like you need them to breathe, and how you're a senior who's only ever dated freshman. nobody fucking likes you except the other fucking sickos, one of them who's literally been expelled!" i seethe.

the room falls silent. the only sound is brendon being dragged back by a boy i recognized as Ryan Ross.

i turn to face gerard again, starting to reach out before they run off to a spare bedroom. i sigh, following them.

my steps feel heavy, my face growing hot. i feel myself shaking as i open the door to see gerard pacing the room. i shut the door.

"what the fuck did you do that for?" he hisses, and i wince.

somehow his anger hurt me more than the homophobic remarks of everyone tonight.

"i don't know. i don't know what came over me." i mumble, looking down.

"exactly! you shouldn't have fucking done that frank, you just made my life then thousand fucking times worse you fucking dickweed!" he spits, finally stopping the pacing to face me. 

i look up at them. "oh well i'm fucking sorry that i care about you, that i don't want people to fucking make fun of you gerard. i'm so fucking sorry that i won't let you get stepped on like you so desperately wish!" i spit back at them

he steps closer to me

"i fucking hate you!"

"i hate you too" i say back sourly.

i'm panting, they're panting, our faces mere inches away from each other. the atmosphere is tense and the air feels thick.

and before i can even tell my lips are on his.