out of control-frerard

Untitled Part 35

frank pov.

when it's all over, gerard and i face away from eachother. my face grows red as i realize what just happened. 

i feel embarrassed and almost ashamed.

"i don't hate you." gerard says, finally breaking the silence. 

i sigh, rolling over. they roll over as well.

"i know." i say, looking at their remorseful face.

"i love you, frankie." he whispers, their voice high and shaky. tears start to fill his eyes and i can tell he feels guilty. i frown and stroke their cheek. 

"i know." i repeat. he looks almost scared.

"that's it?" he asks, sitting up as i get out of the bed to put on my clothes. 

"what do you mean?" i say, tightening my belt.

"i just say i love you and all you have to say is 'i know'?" he says, a little irritated.

"yeah." i say, throwing their clothes at them. 

"what the fuck!" he whines, tears spilling from their eyes.

i roll my eyes and turn towards them. "fuck, i love you too gerard! okay? i didn't wanna fucking say it like this!" i say, pinching the bridge of my nose. 

he frowns and fiddles with his clothes before slipping them on. 

"take me home." i ask as they finish dressing. he nods. 

i sigh, turning towards the door till pete busts in. he looks panicked, and almost afraid. 

"guys i fucked up." he mumbles, looking down at his feet as he fidgets with his hands. gerard crosses his arms and raises an eyebrow.

"how so?" i finally say, a little unsure.

"fuck- i fucking-" he sighs, groaning and pulling his face. "i kissed patrick!" he finally finishes in what could only be classified as a squeak. 

he was ashamed, there was no doubt he was ashamed. he loved mikey, that much was true, and it was undeniable. but gerard was right in his bad feeling, i felt stupid for not trusting him. 

neither of us hand anything to say. gerard grew angrier, upset his brothers not-so-boyfriend had betrayed him. i reach out and hold their hand, they seem to ease up a bit and i felt even worse now. pete sighed and sat on the bed, a little hesitant to since he definitely knew what happened.

"it was a mistake, genuinely. i love mikey, i love him so fucking much.. you don't even know." he whimpers out, his voice was shaking and it seemed like he was about to cry. "but it has been so hard, wondering if he actually likes me the same way i like him. he's so- he's so good at hiding that. and patrick- i like patrick of course i do. but if i had to choose between the two i'd have to choose mikey. i wouldn't be the best person for patrick." pete rambles. it's much more evident how much he's trying not to cry.

"patrick? he's going somewhere. me? i'm doomed man..." he whispers.

"so the only reason you're choosing my brother is because you believe you're not good enough for this band boy? gerard says, trying to not get too angry with pete though it isn't hard to tell they want to punch the shit out of him. 

"no! fuck, mikey... mikey, he's amazing. he's got so much charisma and people like him. he's a fun guy to be around. but he's not the relationship type, you know that gerard. i feel like scum next to mikey, lovestruck puppy style." pete says, a small smile on his face as he thinks about mikey. "and i'm scared that at the end of the day, he's gonna be the one that isn't willing to choose me." he whispers. gerard's gaze softens and they go over to sit next to pete.

"the fact that he's even trying right now, that's proof that in a room full of people he would choose you pete." they say, slinging an arm around pete's shoulder. "now im real fucking pissed at you, but i know. i know what you're feeling. mikey is a sensitive guy but he protects his heart, he's like the opposite of me in that aspect. but he likes you so much pete, you have no idea." he says with a small smile. 

"now here's what you're gonna do. you're gonna tell mikey, you're gonna work something out, then you're gonna talk to patrick." gerard says, pete nods. 

"thanks guys." pete says softly, wiping the tears from his eyes. we both pat his back and he leaves. 

i turn to gerard again, feeling more awkward than before.

"okay.. i guess it's time for me to go home now." i mumble, looking at my feet.

"yeah."