LOVESHINE | NIKKI SIXX

181

NIKKI
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DID I SUCCEED in getting the guys to stop? Not really. They haven't tried to include me in anything, besides drinking a couple beers or having a cocktail. Instead they just became more sneaky. Stashing their stuff in panels and putting it high up.

Which I appreciate in a way. You can't just tell them not to do drugs on tour.

There are only a couple weeks left of this bullshit. We could go back to a normal life, maybe work on having another kid.

Tour is fun but I miss sleeping in the same house every night. I miss the dogs, and I'm excited to start working on a new album. The guys talked about it loosely, saying we can try to do something different, especially because we have John now.

Just a few more shows.

BELLA
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NIKKI HAD gone to the Gym with the guys, the kids were asleep and I had a pack of Camels.

It was a bit cooler so you could see your breath when exhaling. We stayed at a hotel closer to the woods where the trees were in the view rather than the driving cars and city sounds.

The guys stayed at a hotel closer to the venue but the kids started talking about nature so here we are, I was surprised when Doug said that we didn't have to pay out of pocket.

Mid drag I heard the door slide and saw Gunner rubbing his eyes.

"Mama? Is that a cigarette?" He asks tiredly.

"Yeah it is," I couldn't lie to the kid he already saw it.

"My school told us they were bad for you," he explained.

"They are, I won't even deny it," I gave him a tight lipped smile, "come over here."

He walked closer to me and sat on my lap. "Is that coffee?" He points to my mug.

"It is, you want some?" I offer.

"I thought kids weren't supposed to have coffee," he says but I knew he was eager to have some.

"Eh whatever you can try it," I put the mug toward him then pause "but if you like it, this can't be an all the time thing."

"Okay," a smile springs on his face and he tried it, "It's not that good." He had a disgusted expression, "You drink that everyday?"

"Everyday," I run a hand through his hair.

"I don't now how you do that," he shakes his head, "I'm gonna need to rinse my mouth out."

"Here," I hand him the cup of water I left out. He put it to his lips and I started telling him: "You know when mommy was a little girl tia Roxanna let me drink coffee a lot."

"She did?" He sounded astonished.

"Yeah, Salvadoreños love coffee and let children drink it early on. Especially because in El Salvador kids have to work a lot, so me and Lydia were always allowed to have coffee." I explain, "One time we went to IHOP, and both of us ordered coffee. The waitress looked at us, then at Roxanna and asked if it was okay, she kinda just gestured with her hand and nodded."

"Woww," he says surprised, "I'm surprised you aren't shorter."

"Thanks Gunner."

"What? It's true."

We sat there for a second just listening to the birds and looking at some animals you never see in the city.

"Mama?"

"Yes Gunner?"

"If you and Daddy stopped living together would I have to live with my mom all the time?"

"What makes you think we would stop living together?" I put out the cigarette.

"When we almost left," he started to tear up.

"Oh honey," I tried to comfort him the best I could.

"You see, we all make mistakes, you make mistakes, your dad makes mistakes, I make mistakes —like I just smoked an entire cigarette while you were right next to me, I am sorry Gunner oh my god," I went back on topic, "but my point is everybody and their mother makes mistakes. It's apart of human nature. Along with that, Daddy and I sometimes get in arguments with each other, I never intend to bring you or your sister into it but when we almost left I made the mistake of thinking Daddy did something that would hurt both you and your sister. I decided to try and get you away from that, then when daddy and I talked I realized I was wrong so we stayed."

"You guys are going to stay together right?" He asks still sounding stuffy.

"Yes we are," I say.

"I just don't wanna move with my mom," he says sadly.

"Gunner even if your dad and I weren't together you still wouldn't always live with her," I rub his back.

"Umm mama?"

"Yes."

"How did you and Daddy meet?" He tilts his head.

"Well," I tried to think of the most kid friendly story possible, "In 1984, so like 10 years ago-"

"10 years ago?" Gunner says, "That was a long time ago."

"Yes Gunner, thanks for your input," I laugh "The band was on the Bark At The Moon tour, and I was working it, just like I do now. That's how we met but we didn't get together until a year later, in 1985."

"If you and daddy got together that long ago why do I have a different mom than Storm?" I get here's curious but god damn.

"Your dad and I broke up a couple of times before finally settling and staying together," I sigh.

"But that won't happen again right?" He asks.

"No it won't."

This time it seemed like he actually believed me, "I have to go potty," he stands up.

"Make sure you put the toilet seat down," I raise my voice.

"Okay!" Once he opened the door he looked up, "Hi Daddy."

Nikki came out the door and hugged him. Gunner ran inside and Nikki came closer to me.

The look on his face made me ask, "How much of that did you hear?"

"Just a little," I tilted my head, "Just from when he asked if we were gonna stop living together. I came from the gym and showered, I was gonna come out here but then I heard you guys talking so left you alone. But I still eavesdropped."

"I hope you aren't offended by anything I said," I worriedly tighten my lips.

He pulls me in, "No, never. I think it's good you guys had that conversation," I smile at him, "I think you did a great job explaining everything to him."

"Why thank you," I put my hand up to my chest, "also Gunner tried coffee today."

Nikki just laughed, "Did he like it?"

"No," I hold the mug against me, "he asked if I 'drink that everyday' then told me after I explained how long I've been drinking coffee that he was surprised I wasn't shorter."

"Either way you're pretty short," he looks down.

"Nikki you only think that because I'm not your height, if I was a man I would most likely be considered short but I am 5'5 this is perfectly average for a woman," I defend myself.

"Average short woman response," he puts his hand out in a talk to the hand motion.

"Oh wow, anyways theres some coffee in the pot," I tell him and he goes inside, I follow behind him and see Storm wake up with her hair flying around. She looked around confused to where she was, "Good morning!"
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cute lil filler