Midnights with Pierce Psyche Esquivel

Chapter 10

Her brows furrowed upon hearing my question, but still, she shook her head. 

Namilog naman ang mga mata ko sa sagot niya. 

"You have never been in love? Wala ka pang naging boyfriend?" I asked her again, more clearer this time.

Umiling siya ulit sa akin na mas lalong nagpamangha sa akin. My lips were parted as I looked at her unbelievably. She never had a boyfriend what the fuck!

I licked my lips and bit it. It feels unreal but she confirms it herself so...but still, to think that she never entered into a relationship before was just too much. Was it because of her work? Or does she have any other reason? Sa pamilya niya? The curiosity is growing on me.

"Hindi naman po ako nagmamadali sa mga ganyang bagay." She supplemented me more. 

Hindi ko mapigilan na ngumiti. I am liking her answers too much, dammit!

I scratched the back of my head. Pakiramdam ko ay lumulutang ako bigla.

"I have never been in love as well, hindi rin ako nagmamadali kaya---"

"Kaya may sex scandal po kayong nagkalat?" 

Nabura kaagad ang ngiti ko at nanlaki ang mga mata. I looked at her defensively. "Hindi ako yun! That was someone else."

She breathed in deeply like knew that what I am saying is bullshit. "I knew every bit of information about your past, Sir. Especially that past incident, your stalker and all. Parte na po iyon ng trabaho at kailangan po naming malaman."

Muling nalaglag ang panga ko sa sagot niya. She is too straightforward and too casual about it!

"I am just glad that my sister likes your music and not you as an artist. And she doesn't know these things so.." Walang preno ulit nitong sagot.

Napalunok ako ng malalim at napaiwas ng tingin. I felt really guilty all of the sudden. Totoo naman ang mga iyon pero ayaw kong umamin mismo sa kanya. But she knew it because of the nature of her work, wala akong maitatago.

"I'll never do those things again." I timidly responded, quite ashamed of myself. 

Nanatili ang blangko niyang tingin sa akin pero sa huii ay unti-unti siyang tumango.

"Buhay niyo pa rin po yan, pero sana po mag dahan-dahan kayo sa mga gawain niyo. Especially when the kids watch and look up to you too."

Mas lalo akong napababa ng tingin. Matilda has been nagging me about these things, my image and all, but hearing Liberty say those words to me were quite different. I felt ashamed and small. 

We were both silent as I contemplated myself and actions when I heard gasped smally. Napaangat ang tingin ko sa pagsinghap niya.

"Sorry po. Hindi po dapat ako nanghihimasok sa kung ano ang gusto niyo sa buhay." And all of the sudden, she suddenly looks so guilty.

I felt ashamed but I can't help but smile again when I hear her speak those words. She is too soft...

I cleared my throat just to ease my smile. "O-okay lang...you don't need to be sorry. I know where you're coming from."

The relief on her eyes were very visible after I uttered those words and smiled at her. 

"May tanong pa po ba kayo?" She asked with a lighter tone this time.

I excitedly nodded my head. "If you were never in love then...can you define love? I am just asking for your opinion." 

Mulin nanumbalik ang kunot noo niyang tingin sa akin, pagkatapos ay bumaba ito sa hawak kong composition notebook.