Accordance

6

He sighed. Peace. It was quiet. He slowly opened his eyes. His body still felt sick but he didn't feel as shitty as he had the day before. When his father had found him, he was gone. He didn't remember anything until he had awakened to find himself back in his bed. He felt miserable, his head pounded and he had thrown up more than he would have liked. He saw an outline of a hip. Emi. He lifted and leaned down over her.

"Emi, get out." He gripped the pillow beneath her head but he didn't feel silky hair. He blinked twice more and got closer to her. In the dark, he could see the outline of big curly hair, smooth cheeks and full lips. He gripped the pillow harder. Rae? She was still here? He let go of the pillow and lifted up away from her. How did she.. You asked her to stay. She did. He smiled softly, glancing back at her. She was really all or nothing. The type of person he needed. His life was so shaky. So rough, raw and damaged. He gently reached out and stroked her thigh.

She was a different kind of girl. One he had absolutely no experience with. She wasn't hot. She wasn't ready whenever he wanted her nor would she even know what to do if he called. She hadn't had anyone. He could tell. Women who were kept acted in a way that he once paid no attention to. He wasted no time with them, wanted nothing to do with them. But meeting Rae had changed that. He knew sometimes he got carried away but that was only because he couldn't deny his attraction and perhaps his desire for her. If he were honest, he had desired her from day one. But she didn't fall to her knees. She didn't open herself and give him what he wanted like he was used to. He pulled his hand away from her and slowly got up.

Turning back, he gently pulled his comforter across her. Reaching down, he pulled her feet out of the slippers which were dangling. Grabbing her legs, he put them under the cover. He went over to his storage and got a blanket. He pulled out his couch and laid back down. The feelings in his chest just multiplied when she was near and he honest to God tried not to let it consume him. This thing they had was new. And it was growing. He didn't want to fuck it up. He wanted what he wanted. He wanted to kiss her until she melted.

 He didn't and wouldn't do her like he did all of the others. Rae was the kind of girl you loved slow. Nice and soft. Each moment, each time you met it was like a euphoric bliss. Every touch, stroke, soft whimper and moan... it would all exist in delicacy, tender fragility. A girl like Rae wasn't a one time thing. Once you got even a little taste of her you were addicted. If he ever got the chance to be with her, he would never let her go. She would become a high that he would need to consume just to breathe. A girl like Rae needed to be protected. He wanted to be that for her. She needed stability. He would be that. The way he was could he honestly say he deserved anything she gave him? How could he lie here and think on what he wanted when he didn't even have his shit figured out?

Virginity was a touchy thing. It was a magical, wondrously tender thing that only came once in a lifetime. The selfish part of him wanted to have it. To be able to say he claimed it. That nobody else had been able to taste her but him. But then, what kind of guy did that make him? He hadn't known her but a month or so. Longer now. And longer still. Closing his eyes, he put his thoughts to rest and let the peace come over him.

****

He awakened to still find her sleeping. He opened his door and walked out into the hallway. It was quiet. Unusually quiet. He opened the door to his parent's room to find it empty. Tobu and Emi were no longer there. They all had left? He checked each door. Empty. Could they really not stand to be in the same vicinity as her? Disgusting. He scratched his head and softly padded his feet against the wooden floors.

Coming back into the room, he heard a buzz. Another. He got closer and pulled a phone away from the chair nearest her. Minako The screen read. He stepped back out into the hallway and softly answered it.