𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐒 • Tom Kaulitz

chapter thirty-nine

Crimson lay in Matty's bed looking through her song book. He sat at the end of it, messing on his guitar, when Audrey, Aiden and Ray all burst in. They'd been sat downstairs with the rest of Matty's band.

"Sapphire, we're in an argument," Aiden said.

"And?" Crimson asked.

"And we need you to resolve it. This guy." Sidney threw a magazine at her and she picked it up. "The one with the black hair, is he attractive? Because Audrey's thirsting over him, Ray thinks he's too emo and I don't really care."

"Ray thinks someone's too emo? Has he looked in a mirror lately?"

"Just tell us if he's hot!"

Crimson looked at the magazine, Tokio Hotel on the front. Her heart dropped. She couldn't tell them if Bill was hot or not, she'd dated his twin.

"He's okay," she said, throwing the magazine back and wiping her face as the two left. Marty turned to her.

"You alright?" He asked. Crimson nodded, but couldn't hold the tear that fell from her eyes, "Crimson? Are you crying?"

Other than her family, Matty was the only one who ever called her by her real name. She loved how it sounded coming from him, knowing one of the most important people in her life saw past the fakeness of Sapphire.

"No," she lied.

"I've just saw the tear, babe, what's the matter?"

"Nothing, nothing. Just- My boyfriend back in Germany used to listen to a lot of Tokio Hotel."

"Ben?"

Crimson nodded. It was obviously a lie, but she couldn't tell him the truth. "Yeah, Ben. It just reminds me of him, and how he treated me, I guess."

"Oh, darling, come here."

Matty put down his guitar and opened his arms. Crimson crawled over to him, laying in his arms. This was healing. Someone actually loving her, not constantly screaming and yelling and hitting her or trying to control her.

Marty stroked Crimson's hair, which soothed her a bit. "Ben's in jail, and you're over here now, with me, okay? Nothing's gonna happen, don't let anything take you back there."

Crimson sighed, looking at Matty. "Yeah," she said, "You're right. Nothing should take me back there, just live in the here and now."

Matty smiled as Crimson sat up and leaned into him, kissing him on the lips. He happily accepted the kiss, before pulling away and looking her in the eyes. "You okay?" He asked.

Crimson nodded. "Yeah, better."

She leant back in and continued to kiss him and moving over to sit on his lap. Matty was a little shocked at Crimson's sudden boldness. The two had never had sex, but anything they did do was mostly initiated by him. He wasn't complaining.

Crimson moved backwards slightly and reached to the waistband of Matty's pants.

"Cici, everyone's downstairs," he said.

Crimson quickly moved her hands away and got off of him. "Shit, I'm sorry, I didn't even-" She began, but Matty shushed her.

"Don't need to apologise." He stood up and locked his bedroom door. "Just be quiet, yeah?"

"She's probably fucking him right now," Tom basically yelled, in the middle of an argument with Luna about Crimson.

"Don't be so vulgar, Tom," Luna said, "You can't be mad at her for moving on, it's been a year. Don't you just want her to be happy?"

"Yes."

"And does she look happy."

Tom sighed. He didn't want her to. He didn't want her to look happy with anyone else, but she did. "Yes."

"So let her, Tom."

"But- God..."

"I know it hurts. It hurts all of us to see her somewhere else, but- I know it hurts you more, and I'm sorry, but you have to let her go now. I think you've grieved long enough. You deserve to move on."

"I've tried, Luna. My body count's, like, doubled, it doesn't work."

"Because fucking people isn't gonna help. Why don't you try actual love?"

"Maybe one day."