𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐒 • Tom Kaulitz

chapter forty-two

There were things that Crimson was hiding from everyone except Matty, like the drug abuse, and the reliance on alcohol. She felt ashamed. She was only seventeen. She couldn't even legally buy alcohol in most places, and her she was getting addicted to it.

It was Matty who'd first introduced her to cocaine. She was bored at a party, so he gave her some to get her going, and get her going it did, but it also got her addicted.

She didn't tell her band mates, but they were aware that she used it. They didn't think it was frequent, though. Every time they saw her doing it, it was at a party. They'd tell her to stop, and she'd used the same old 'I'm just having fun, I can stop whenever I want' excuse, that wasn't true, but they believed her.

They were in Leipzig now. They'd finished up their concert which went amazingly, Crimson performing a lot more passionately considering where they were. After the show, they decided to go to a club, one that Crimson had never been to.

She was trying her hardest to avoid bumping into her old friends, not wanting them to see her in whatever state she was bound to get into tonight.

Matty stood next to her as she ordered shots from the bar, both of them throwing them down like it was nothing. They each noticed the others straight face.

"We have got a serious problem," Marty said.

"Just now realising that?" Crimson asked, as she leant in to kiss Matty. Both of them were already hammered, they'd lost the rest of the band, but they didn't really care, until Aiden appeared behind them.

"Guys, massive rager at some random guys house," he said, "You coming?"

"Sounds dangerous," Matty looked at Crimson.

"Oh, please, no one's gonna know us. Let's go!"

Matty had no time to say anything before Crimson pulled him out of the club and towards the cab they were getting. Aiden, Ray and Audrey all got in the one behind.

"Cici, are you sure about this?" Matty asked, "You don't know who's gonna be here, what if-"

"You have nothing to worry about. I doubt anyone I know would be here, they all have school!"

"I hope you're right."

"I am!"

Crimson attached herself to Matty's neck, leaving marks on him. He said nothing, just letting it happen. He was worried. Crimson had changed recently, on all the substances. He knew he couldn't say anything about it. After all, it was his fault. Still, he loved her, and he regretted it more than anything as he could see her slowly changing.

"Here we are," the driver said. Crimson and Matty got out of the car and Matty payed the driver. Crimson held onto his arm as they walked in, shortly followed by the rest of the band.

"Holy shit, there are so many people here," Crimson said, "You mind if I run off?"

"Go ahead," Matty said, "Just make sure your phone isn't on silent, alright?"

"Done. Love you!"

"Love you."

Crimson ran off into the crowd and searched for the drinks table, finishing finding it and cracking open a beer. She didn't recognise anyone here, most of them being slightly older than her, but not too much. However, as she weaved through the rooms, something started to feel familiar.

She spun around and, in the corner of the room, spotted the one group she'd been trying to avoid her whole time in Germany.

"Holy fuck," Luna said, "Crim-"

Crimson ran out of the room and out of the house, all the way round to the side of it where no one could see her, but Tom was the one to follow.

"Red," he said, "It's nearly been two years."

"I ran away for a reason, Tom, I didn't want you to follow me."

"What, I can't catch up with you?"

"No, Tom, you, my ex, can't catch up with me. I have a boyfriend."

"Why are you being so mean?"

"Why are you invading my privacy."

"What's under your nose?"

Crimson sniffed up, wiping her nose. "What do you mean?"

"Oh, nothing. I just thought I saw- Doesn't matter. I'll see you." Tom began walking away, but Crimson didn't want him to.

"Tom, wait?"

He instantly turned around. "Yeah?"

Crimson practically jumped on him, attaching her lips to his. He started kissing her back, spinning them around and pushing her against the wall.

"Do you know if there are any spare rooms?" Crimson asked.

"No, Crimson," Tom said.

"What?"

"You're drunk. You're so so drunk, and you have a boyfriend."

"That didn't stop you the first time."

"That's because that boyfriend was an asshole. But Matty. God, I don't wanna say it. He loves you, Red, I can tell, even from the little bits I see of you two. Don't ruin that just so we can have sex one more time."

"One more time?"

"You're not staying here, and I'm not leaving. Matty's better for you. He's literally came on tour with you. I'm not gonna help you cheat on a guy like that."

"You're right. Shit, I'm such a bad girlfriend. I need to find him."

Crimson ran off before Tom could say anything else. She found Matty, luckily alone, in the back garden.

"You were right," she said, making Matty turn to face her, "Coming here was a bad idea."

"What? Are you okay? Is someone-"

"I kissed someone."

Matty's expression changed from worry to hurt. "What?"

"I'm sorry, I'm really really sorry. I lied to you. Felix and Ben weren't the only exes. There was also Tom. We were never technically together, but we- You know. And I just saw him, and I started making out with him, and I wouldn't have even stopped if he didn't stop me, and I'm just so sorry, Matty, because I love you so much and I know you love me so much and I don't know why I'd ruin that and-"

"Woah," Matty said, "Slow down, love. It was an ex?"

"Yeah."

"And it went no further?"

"Just kissing."

"It's fine."

"Wait what? No, no you're meant to get mad and, like, hit me, or call me a slut or something."

"You know I'd never do that, darling. You're drunk and you're high and you just saw someone you haven't saw for two years after having an intimate relationship with them. I get it. I'm okay, as long as you're okay."

"I think I'm okay."

"But I think you need to stop it with the coke."

"What?"

"Look what it's doing."

"You're the one who-"

"I know, and it's my biggest regret ever. If I say we'll stop together, do you promise to try?"

"I promise."

crimson and matty r kind of cute actually