Mixing Business with Pleasure (Editing)

19 - Turnt Up

Chapter 19

Candice Pov

My body felt drained. Puffy and swollen eyes. I literally felt weak, and stupid. I had resigned to the fact that I was officially seen as a lesbian fantasy and a side chick. After all my energy had been released, I decided there would be no more crying, I was saddened that I stooped so low, to resort to tears. Stupid, because I had managed to be so naive - again. I've always been slightly gullible, from a child growing up. I've just always wanted to see the best in people. Always giving people the benefit of the doubt. Before she died mama told me to keep my guard up. My mom always said she didn't teach me much, because she didn't get her education, but she tried her best to teach me life lessons. Life lessons, I always seem to fail, to follow. I always gotta learn the hard way, because I always gotta be the fool. Everyone in the hood knew what Dominoes was about. A drunkard that literally lived to destroy himself, and I helped him do it - all because I felt sorry for him. The money I gave him obviously didn't go on food, and even though Dominoes shouldn't have acted the way he did, the treatment I got was my own fault for being so blind to the situation.

Then with Renee, I was stupid as well. I ignored the rumors in high school, despite being warned. Them stories that went around weren't pretty. They painted her as a hot mess, and I should have just kept away. A girl that fucked around, drank, and did drugs - she had a bad reputation whilst I was a straight A student. Her being pregnant was all the proof everyone else needed to label her as a hoe, but I didn't judge her. She seemed cool all these years, but deep down she was on some different shit. I thought she was a true friend, but she had an ulterior motive. She just seems manipulative to me. I can't even take into consideration her apparent feelings right now. I mean it's weird because she's been out with more men than me, or was she lying? How can she be switching sides like that? I can't even believe all her actions and stories were real.

I'm not going to stunt, and say the famous line 'I'm not against gays/bi/whatever you are'. It's not like I'm a hater, but to me, the concept is unnatural, so I'm not a fan of my friend liking me in that way. I never really cared about it enough to have a properly formed opinion, because it's never affected me. I don't really give a shit what other people do behind closed doors, unless I'm watching some porn. But now, it does affect me, because this whole time Renee has been pretending to be my friend, whilst secretly fancying me. Like she was feeling me. My face still turns sour at the thought. Oh hell naw, I slept out her house, we've shared a bed at a hotel resort to save money once - like what was her intentions on that day... it was her mother fucking idea. We've gotten ready together over the years, checked each out when we were wearing something new, like what was going through her head then? It makes me sick to think that when she gave me compliments on how my ass looked in a dress, that it wasn't in a normal way that girls do. What the hell did she think was going to happen? Did she think by talking smack about the men I've been with, that it would lead me to be with her? She was probably deliberately trying to destroy every relationship I had. It wasn't just Ryan she had a problem with. Come to think of it she had something to say about Tyrone, Michael and Samuel as well. Anyone that looked my way.

Samuel. The thought that she was lying about this wife popping up crossed my mind because I no longer trust her fully. She managed to hide her feelings extremely well, so I don't even know what she's capable of. I mean, her exaggerated stories and gossip from the past proves she could be creative as fuck, but this lie would be dumb. I mean after all the pretence, would this really be her master plan? I could find out if she was lying or not based on the simple fact she said it created a scene. The only place this woman could have gone to was the front desk, which means Rosa had to have been involved. I decided to call her. We talk outside work so it wasn't odd I was calling her line. I thought I'd have to go through a whole load of small talk, but it turns out I didn't have to say anything. She mentioned it, she described the whole story, and I had to react like it was the juiciest gossip in the world, on the account of nobody knowing. As soon as I got off the phone, the angry questions returned to my mind. Hurt. Anger. Confusion. The thought that everything was just an illusion.