Mixing Business with Pleasure (Editing)

Epilogue

Candice Pov

"From what she said, he's going to be alright" Lala reassured me after me hearing all about Mr Vanilla - who she thinks is the one. 

She's a tad worried about the whole interracial thing, but I advised her to do her. I mean as long as she makes sure he's woke, then there shouldn't be too much of a problem. Fuck what others think. We spoke for about an hour although I had originally called her, to check in on Ryan again. I don't care what Samuel says about me not feeling sorry for him - I can't help it.

I'm sorry for a lot of things. I'm sorry Ryan feels the way he does, because I know it's too late for the possibility of us. That might sound crazy but he was a big part of my life at one point, and if it wasn't for Samuel I would have heard him out. I'm sorry because me wanting closure resulted in Samuel feeling hurt, and Ryan literally being hurt. Of course it's not my fault Ryan kissed me - he clearly read into something wrong - but I knew he still had lingering feelings for me so I shouldn't have entertained him. I shouldn't have presented the opportunity.

I was mad at Samuel at first. Maybe a part of me still is, when I think of how far it all went. I was angry that he didn't just speak to me, and let me handle it as a woman. I would have told Ryan to go home, and that would have been it, but the more I thought about it, when he confronted me I realised how it all seemed. If I saw Samuel sitting down with his ex, an ex that clearly still has feelings I'd be more than mad. And then to walk in on them kissing.

After the bitch had smiled in my face, and pretended she didn't know him... Even thinking about it gets me heated. I know I wouldn't have necessarily hit the bitch, but I know I would have wanted to. And it's a true point that I had time to get my closure when I took his business card. If I'm honest it was  Ryan again that made me consider talking to him. A hint of left over feelings made me question: what if?

This whole situation made me see a glimpse of a Samuel I hadn't seen before. Yes, at work he'd been stern but Id never seen him that angry. Id never seen him with the look of murder in his glazed over eyes. I feel some type of way, that it turned me on.

The thought of him made me want him so badly I wanted to brush out little conversation to the side. So I admitted where I was wrong so we could move on. He apologised but I still don't get how he could feel so cold towards Ryan. Like okay, Ryan was wrong but he could have killed him - and it scares me that he didn't seem bothered by that.

All week long he's been carrying on like nothing happened. I did speak to Lala briefly about whether Samuels behaviour was normal or not, and she rightfully pointed out that if it was me I wouldn't give two fucks about his hoe of an ex. But I've got a funny feeling that I can't quite shake off. The funny feeling that Samuel is about that life. Like shit, he comes across as caring and considerate as fuck but he didn't have one moment of doubt or remorse. In one conversation he even said he was grateful he's still breathing.

Though a part of that statement scared me - well more like shocked me - I can't lie him acting like that ignited something in me. Shit, that angry glint in his eye whenever the topic is mentioned gets me wet every time.

Needless to say, the sex this week has been on fire. Well, sex with Samuel is always good. I might as well have been a virgin before I met him - seriously. It sounds corny but you don't know what a real orgasm is until someone you loves gives it to you and lays it down just right. There's that special connection. He's touched and sparked a reaction in places I didn't know existed. He's knows how to hit the right spot, and he knows how to pleasure me in more ways than one.

His tongue, his hands, his fingers, his dick and his stamina. We've explored different positions and fantasies. Things I never thought I'd actually try, places I never thought I'd have sex - like in the shower, in one of his cars, in his office. But despite that this week has been something else.