Chapter 33: Snatching my own happiness

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4000+ words

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4000+ words

Shivani's pov:

●●●
Karne chali jo bhul mai, Yeh kisi paap se kam nahi.
Jisse mai hu, jo mera wajood hai, Usse juda hone jaa rahi hu.

Usse juda hona kisi jeher pine se, Kam nahi.
Phir bhi uske khatir ye jeher, Has kar pine jaa rahi hu .

Uski mujahrim aur uske dil ka katil banne jaa rahi hu,
Mai usse chor uske yado ko dil mai qaid karne jaa rahi hu.

Karne chali jo bhul mai, Yeh kisi paap se kam nahi.
Jisse mai hu, jo mera wajood hai, Usse juda hone jaa rahi hu.
●●●

[Heading towards oblivion, this act is no less than a sin. From which I am, who defines my existence, I'm about to part ways with him.

Parting from him isn't less than drinking poison,
Yet, for his sake, I'm cheerfully consuming this venom.

I'm becoming his culprit and the murderer of his heart,
I'm leaving him to imprison his memories in my heart.

Heading towards oblivion, this act is no less than a sin. From which I am, who defines my existence, I'm about to part ways with him.]

As I walked down the empty road, I couldn't help but recalled the last thing I wrote in my diary.

These were the final words I scribbled in my diary before making a tough decision of destroying my happiness, and trust me the decision was not less than stepping on broken glass while hiding my true feelings.

Have you ever wondered how tough it can be to snatch away your own happiness? Let me tell you, it's worse than death. You feel so powerless, knowing what's going to happen and having the outcome in your hands, yet still unable to change things the way you want.

Looking around me I realized I don't even know where I'm headed or how long I've been walking on this quiet road. The surrounding silence amplifies the loneliness and pain in my heart.

Lost in my thoughts, I wasn't paying attention to where I was going, walking like all the energy had been drained from me. I didn't have tears on my face, but I'm sure my heart was crying.

Suddenly, I stumbled over a stone on the road and fell with a loud thud. My palms got scratched as I fell on them, and that fall made me lose control as tears started flowing down my face.

Was I crying?
Yes
For the fall?
No
Then?

I was crying for the pain I gave him, for breaking his heart along with mine, for the separation, for the helplessness that I am feeling and for everything that is happening in my life. Because it's not what I want, yet it's what is best for everyone.

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