𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗡𝗚 𝗛𝗢𝗟𝗟𝗬𝗪𝗢𝗢𝗗

what it takes to be pretty2|| m.c

09/2022, age 17

After her breakdown in front of the maddie's on set, theadora seemed to climb further back into her shell. she avoided interactions with her friends at all costs; not only was she no longer hanging out with them, but she wasn't speaking, either. in fact, thea only ever spoke when she was speaking her lines while on set.

not only was the teen not talking, but she wasn't sleeping or eating, either.

shortly after the fainting incident, filming for season three wrapped and the cast began heading back to their separate homes. during the chaos of the week following wrap day, theadora had quietly approached madelyn, speaking unprompted for the first time since that day in her trailer.

"can i stay with you in l.a for a bit?"

confused, madelyn raised an eyebrow, "why? i mean, yeah, of course, but don't you want to go home?"

while theadora had her own apartment in l.a, she wasn't too keen on living alone after having stayed in an apartment with two other people for so long. something had happened to the teen between her fainting on set and now—something she had yet to disclose, yet was effecting her deeply.

"i mean, yeah, but i've gotten so used to living with you guys. my apartment is so lonely." it wasn't a lie, but it wasn't the whole truth either.

"we don't live very far from each other, i'd still visit tons. you'll get sick of me." Maddie wasn't too sure what to make of theadoras request. of course the older girl would love to have the seventeen year old continue to room with her, but this was quite an unusual request for thea, who had been extremely independent all her life.

thea felt her heart sink into her shoes; madelyn didn't sound like she wanted a roommate in l.a. "it's okay. i understand if you want your own space now, since we've been living together for like eight months anyways."

madelyn sighs. "thee, of course you can stay with me. is everything alright, though?"

"thank you thank you thank you!" thea is quick to dodge the second half of maddie's response, briefly hugging the older girl before disappearing back inside her room.

____

Barely a week had passed and the girls had just arrived at clines l.a home. maddie had yet to find out the real reason behind her new flatmates sudden interest in continuing to live together; theadora was still quite content with never letting her find out.

"thea! dinner!" madelyn knocks on the door of her guest room, which was currently being inhabited by a hermit of a teenager.

"not hungry. i ate on the plane," thea excuses herself.

"uh, no, you did not."

"yes i did. while you were sleeping." the teen counters.

"thea i was awake right next to you the entire flight. come eat."

"i'm not hungry. leave me alone." the arguing from the other end quickly turns to silence as thea retreats to the other side of the bedroom, opening her book to block out the disapproval still coming from the other side of the door.

madelyn knocks on the door again, not ready to relent, "i haven't seen you eat since breakfast yesterday morning and it's past eight pm. come down or i'm coming in."

still, no response from the teen.

madelyn sighs loudly in frustration; she has no desire to fight with the girl she has come to think of as an honorary little sister. "foods in fridge when you're ready. i'm going to bed. let me know if you need anything, thee."

again, no response. finally, madelyn gives up, retreating across the hallway and into her own bedroom.

____

Theadora was having yet another nightmare.

she had managed to go quite a while with no more than three, four hours of sleep a night, however it seems as though her tiredness has finally begun to catch up.

thea wakes in a panicked jolt, shooting upright in her bed, finding herself drenched in a cold sweat. she couldn't remember where she was, or how she had gotten there. all she could remember was her nightmare, and the feeling of her slimy new boyfriends roaming hands. she presses her fingernails deep into the palms of her hands, creating little crescent moon shapes in a desperate attempt to calm herself to no avail.

hot tears escape down her face as the teen hiccups loudly, trying to get ahold of her breathing. hands violently shaking, thea claws at her neck in a final attempt to reopen her rapidly closing lungs.

theadora didn't remember making any noise as she awoke, however she couldn't really remember much at all at the moment, let alone hear anything over the sound of her ringing ears and panicked breaths. she must've knocked over the vase sitting on top of the bedside table in her haste, as soon madelyn comes running in.

"thea? you okay?" when no response comes, maddie flicks on the light switch to see theadora sitting upright in her bed, in full panic mode.

madelyn quickly rushes towards the teens side, sitting directly beside her with one hand on thea's back and the other grasping the girls hands tightly. "hey, hey you're okay. you're alright."

theadora squeezes her eyes shut, shaking her head and pulling her hands out of her cast mates grip.

"thea, thea," she hears a voice call, unable to match the voice to a person quite yet.

"thee, you need to breath." madelyn tries, placing herself back besides the younger girl. "can i hold your hand?"

the nickname 'thee' helping connect the voice to its owner, theadora nods the best she can, tears still heavily streaming down her face as she shakes and gasps for air.

maddie takes her friends hand, gently guiding it to own chest as she takes slow, deep breaths herself. "follow me. just like that." she speaks gently.

theadora tries the best she can, calming just enough to reopen her eyes but not enough to put an end to her shaking and panicking.

"can you hear me?" madelyn questions.

the teen nods desperately.

"okay. we're gonna play a game, alright?" another nod. "okay. can you name five things you can see?"

frantically, thea's eyes dart around the room as she begins to get a clearer look at her surroundings. she sees her co-star sitting beside her on the bed, realizing where she is: madelyn's apartment in los angeles. she sees the now shattered vase on the hardwood floor; the beds comforter now also on the floor, accompanied by one of her three pillows; lastly, theadora spots her book tucked over on the far corner of the bedside table. after relaying this information to the adult beside her, thea hears an audible breath of relief.

"okay. you're doing so good, thee. four things you can hear?"

once again squeezing her eyes shut tight, thea tries to focus on the sounds around her. she hears her still ragged breathing, and the now dull ringing in her ears; still present, but not as overwhelming as before. she hears the fan in the corner, still on high. finally, she hears rain beginning to tap gently on the windowpane.

when she opens her eyes, thea notices madelyn about to open her mouth to continue their "game." exhausted, the teen ever so quietly whispers out, "can we be done?"

maddie smiles softly. "yes. are you alright? are you ready to talk about it?"

while thea appreciates the inquiry, all she really wants is to give in to her heavy eyelids begging to close. "no." she replies, laying back down.

"okay," madelyn softly speaks, rising from the bed. "i'm right across the hall if you need me,"

as maddie approaches the door, however, theadoras hesitant voice calls out, "can you stay? just for a little."

without even the slightest bit of hesitation, madelyn turns right around and heads back to the guest bed. "of course."