A Wish To Escape

Chapter7

Tristana's POV

"TRISTANA!!"

oh great Dad's home

"TRISTANA!"

"Yes sir?" I call back

"Why was Payton here with you today when no one else was home? You know your not aloud to have company over without your mom and I being here, and especially not a boy!"

"Dad he stopped by looking for Tristan, and there was a spider upstairs in Jacksons room, and I was to afraid to kill it myself, so when he got here I got him to kill the spider, and that's all that happened. After that he left. Its not like we was gonna do anything bad. He was here for like 15 minutes then left."

"I don't CARE if it was only like 15 minutes! What if one of our frinds from church had stopped by, or one of our neighbors had stopped by?
That would not have looked very good on our family or his!

If someone had stopped by I would have explained to them exactly what was going on, the same way I am to you right now. They would have understood. And besides what was I supposed to do? Slam the door In his face?"

"No, but you shouldn't have let him in. If someone had came over while he was here it would have already been all over Facebook, twitter, and instagram. Then the whole world would know that you've been having boys over at the house while baby sitting."

"Dad it was 15 minutes and the neighbors would have understood I'm sure! And besides they never come over anyway ...and I'm sure they have better things to talk about."

"How do you know they have better things to talk about? What makes you so sure? Huh?"

We argue back, and forth like this before I finally go upstairs and lock myself in my room. I put in my headphones, and turn them all the way up, so that I can drown out the rest of this world. I do this quite often now.

It seems like everyday me, and dad argue over something, then I run upstairs, turn on music, and stay there for the rest of the night.

I wish I could find a way to make things better, a way where me and dad can get along. I wish I could be truly happy instead of faking my smiles everyday.

I feel so trapped, trapped inside my own little world. Where my only escape is hidden, and every time I turn around there's another monster coming after me, screaming at me, ripping my feelings apart like paper.

The worst part about it is they don't even realize they are doing it. How do you fix a problem when the monsters causing the problem doesn't even realize that they are causing problems?

As I lay down on my bed I begin to cry and pray.
God please, please help me get out, help me to eacape this terrible nightmare. I don't want to live like this anymore. Give me the strength to face another day. Amen.

I lay there a few more minutes lost in my thoughts when one of my earbuds fall out. Ugh! I can't stand when that happens. As I stick it back in I start to notice the lyrics to the song I'm listening to.

The nightmare that's coming true,
You tell your friends that your okay , but that light inside of you is starting to fade, you barely recognize yourself,  your lost and your so afraid, you don't have to be so brave

Some times we just need to break down and feel, let go take tine so we can start to heal, go on and throw it out your luck will turn around,  lose control no don't try to hold it in you will come back stronger this ain't the end,  your gonna find your way your like a boomerang.

I turned off my music and laid my head down on my pillow.

Thank you God. I prayed

Then I fell asleep for the first time in over 2 years feeling almost truly happy

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