Tom Hiddleston Oneshots

Nightmares

As children our parents give us stuffed figures to sleep with so as to ward off nightmares. There is wisdom there in that loneliness makes us more susceptible to the terrors of our own minds. Sometimes the best cure for our demons is the company of another.

I've always had nightmares, for as long as I can remember. When I was younger it would be things like monsters coming to get me from the darkness beneath my bed or being lost in a public place full of apathetic strangers. As an adult my imagination has darker corners than my innocent mind of yesteryear would have known.

I tend to avoid horror movies, knowing that the gruesome images laid before me will likely make another appearance later on when I am most vulnerable. For several years I thought I had been rid of them as the therapy I had invested in paid off in nights slept peacefully through. Last weekend my boyfriend of 2 months and I had taken a stroll through the park late in the evening when we had come across a disturbing scene.

In the shrubbery to our left I had heard the faint groaning of a man in pain. Tom had insisted on me staying behind as he went to investigate but I had not paid heed to his warning to stay behind and followed him over to look on. In the bushes and hidden just out of sight was a middle-aged man dressed in workout sweats who looked as though he had gone a few rounds with Mike Tyson. His face was bruised and bloodied and there were grass and blood stains all over his pale blue running clothes.

Tom acted quickly in pushing me away from the gruesome sight as he whipped his phone out to call it in. The damage was done, however, and I haven't been able to sleep since. My nightmares have come back with a vengeance and it is all I can do to keep from having a total emotional breakdown over it. 

After the police had taken our statements that night Tom had walked me back to my apartment building where I declined his offer to stay with me until I feel asleep. I think a part of me knew what was coming and didn't want him to see. At this point so early in our relationship I am afraid of what he would say if he knew that I wake up screaming every night.

I haven't talked to Tom at all since the night in the park, unable to bring myself to answer his phone calls. I feel guilty for giving him the cold shoulder but I would much rather he leave now before he sees the wreck I have become than for him to stick around to see the emotional equivalent to the Titanic sinking happen in my bedroom. He hasn't called since yesterday so I figure he must have given up altogether. Maybe he thinks I have found someone else.

It is around 11 am when I hear the sound of someone beating on my door. At first I don't move afraid that whoever it is might be trying to break into the apartment. I grab my phone off of the coffee table and make my way towards the door to peek through the peephole. I am about 5 steps away when his voice reverberates through the door.

"Y/N, please, I just want to know you're okay." Tom. I froze in my tracks, somehow more terrified now than I had been when I had no idea what lay beyond the door. "Y/N, please, I understand if you don't want to see me but I am so worried about you. Please just let me see that you are alright and I will leave, then, if you want me to. Please open the door." I make the final few steps to the door and hesitantly undo the latches.

The door creaks open slowly revealing the flustered man behind. He hasn't shaved and the shadow along his jaw is breathtaking in contrast to the curly blonde mess that site atop his head. His cheeks are rosy and his eyes are wide, he looks like he might have run up instead of ride the elevator.

 "Y/N..." He breathed out, not seemingly satisfied that I was okay. "I called... I called so many times and when you didn't answer I was afraid... At first I thought you were upset about the park and then after a few more days I thought maybe you were mad because I pushed you but I left so many messages trying to apologize and nothing so then I was afraid... Are you okay?" Tom stared at me in anticipation for my reply, breathing still coming at a struggle for him.

"It's okay Tom, you are fine. You didn't do anything wrong." I looked down, feeling slightly ashamed at making him panic so.

"Y/N, you look like you haven't slept in weeks!" Tom moved towards me but stopped himself before he entered my bubble of personal space.

"I haven't, at least not much. Would you like some tea? Coffee?" I stepped back to let Tom in and closed the door behind us. I trudged into the kitchen to start the tea and felt Tom come up behind me. He placed a large hand gently on my shoulder before speaking softly.

"I've got this, why don't you go sit down." I nodded gratefully, feeling guiltier than ever for having shut him out. I sat awkwardly on the edge of the couch while he prepared two steaming mugs of tea. He brought them over after a few minutes and sat an arm's length away from me on the couch.

I winced slightly at the sensation of the hot tea on my tongue but didn't falter as I took a long draw from it anyways. We sat in silence for a long moment before Tom spoke. "Darling, what's happened to you? You look exhausted and the neighbors say you haven't left the flat in two weeks. Some of them thought you had a bloke over, though no one's actually seen anyone. What's going on?"I took a deep breath before I looked at him.

"There isn't another guy, Tom. I..." I still felt apprehensive about telling him about the hysteria that possessed me every time I lost consciousness but in all honesty his reaction couldn't be much worse than what I had already put him through. I owed him an explanation.

"I was embarrassed and afraid of what you might think. When I was younger I would have these nightmares, terrible, awful dreams that took hold every time I went to sleep. I developed insomnia as a way to guard against them until I sought professional help.

I hadn't had them for until... until the night at the park. Since then I wake up every night screaming. I am afraid to close my eyes or else I might fall asleep and endure another. I am so close to just losing it. I didn't want you to know, I didn't want you to think any less of me but I guess I screwed that up by ditching you for two weeks while I hid away in my apartment."

My head dropped low in shame; tears pricked the corners of my eyes. Tom said nothing as he scooted closer to me on the couch and wrapped an arm around me. He drew me to him while shushing me gently.

"Darling , there's nothing to be embarrassed about. It was a traumatic experience; you would be a tad touched not to have had some reaction to it. Your nightmares, why would you think I would think less of you for them?"

"What guy wants to stay with a girl whose screams wake him up in the night? It is disturbing." I was crying in earnest now, too tired to stop the tears that burned on their way down my cheeks.

"Oh, Y/N. We all have our ups and downs. This is something you have managed before, you can do it again. We will get you in touch with the therapist that helped you last time and we'll get through it. It will be okay, sweetheart." Tom cradled my head to his broad chest.

"We?" I tried not to let the hope in my voice shine through as I asked.

"Yes, Y/N, we." He soothed my hair with one hand and held me close with the other. "How about I tuck you in and sit with you. If you have nightmares I will be right there to make it right. We'll get you some sleep and in the morning we will find a way to contact that guy who helped you all those years ago. You don't have to do this alone, darling." I nodded, not trusting myself to speak without blubbering like an idiot.

Tom tucked the covers up around me and lay on his side next to me with one arm draped protectively around my middle, the other cradling his head. He hummed softly as I drifted off to sleep, so much more secure with him there.

Forty-five minutes later I woke shaking and terrified without a clue as to where I was. Tom drew me closer to him, holding me in the shelter of his embrace. He murmured soothing words until my breathing evened out and I stopped shaking.

"Tom?" I whimpered pathetically, needing the reassurance of his voice to calm me in my confusion.

"I'm here, Y/N. You're safe and I am not going anywhere. Sleep, darling. You are okay." I cuddled closer to him, letting the warmth of his body wash over me as I drifted back into sleep. I slept through the rest of the night peacefully and in the arms of a loving man.