The Other Side - A Boys of Tommen Fanfic

Chapter 39- Again

Marci

HUGE TW FOR SA AND DRUGS

I cracked my eyes open and rubbed them tiredly, fully awake, but made no move to leave my bed.

The pain aching in every battered inch of my body was shattering.

My head was splitting, my throat was raw, and with every hesitant breath I took I could feel the pain in my ribs like daggers, yet I could care less.

The only thing I cared about, was the dull pain between my legs, and the unbearable ache in my heart.

I was glued to the surface of my bed, and I couldn't grant myself to move. I felt like I was drowning in the foam of my mattress, waiting for each breath I took to be my last

As full realization hit me, devastation and disgust crept into my mind and body, and as I felt the first tear fall from my cheek, I couldn't even bring myself to wipe it.

I simply couldn't bring myself to move.

Tears pooled in my eyes and fell onto my pillow as I tried to get my shit together before Shannon woke, but I just couldn't handle it.

I couldn't fucking get him off of me, couldn't get him to stop.

I could still feel as he pushed into me

I could feel as he moved

I could feel every single breath he took, and the disgusting feeling of his gasps and moans in my neck

Then I could feel his hands on my neck

I could feel every fucking ache in my body as he ignored my screams

And now I just couldn't

I couldn't feel anything

I knew my body was in pain

I knew my heart was as well

But I couldn't really feel anything

Nothing felt real

Not the pain

not the memories

not my thoughts

not even me

I couldn't fucking feel

I had let him do it again.

I had been too weak to stop him

my own father

Fuck

★・・・・・・★

I limped out of the bathroom, thoroughly repulsed as I glanced at the poorly concealed bruises lining my wrists.

Where he'd held me

I'd spent ages in the shower, scrubbing my body raw in the hopes that the feeling of his hands would wash away.

My skin was patchy and raw, and despite the pounds of makeup I'd caked onto my under eyes and the rest of my face, the dark bruising scattered across my face still peeked through.

I looked like I hadn't slept in weeks, but thankfully I didn't look like a pamphlet photo for domestic abuse anymore.

When I reached my bedroom, and my pain became unbearable, I realized that there was no way I was going to make it through school without cracking.

I'd scoured the medicine cabinet for paracetamol, but came up empty, and I hadn't checked the only other place in this house with medication.

Joeys room

It wasn't like I wanted hard freaking drugs, just something light for my pain.

He had to have something right?

When I reached Joeys room, which was empty of course, since Joey had slept at Aoife's house last night despite his promises.

Tuesdays.

Damn it.

Language!

I immediately made a beline for his night side table, and slid the drawer open.

I stared down at the piles and piles of pill bottles and clear plastic baggies in the drawer, my chest aching harder as I tried to ignore the sinking feeling in my stomach.

I stuck my hand into the drawer and started picking through the pill bottles as I read off dozens of medications I didn't recognize and tossed baggies of white pills onto Joey's bed.

I finally grabbed a bottle with the label I was looking for.

I desperately tried to open the bottle, my hands shaking too hard with anxiety to correctly undo the child lock.

My frustration grew as I fumbled with the blue pill bottle and white hot anger filled me as tears pooled in my eyes.

This is so stupid

Get your shit together

So fucking stupid

why are you even upset?

Weak

weak

weak

hush!

When I couldn't take it anymore, I threw the bottle to the ground, and stomped on top of it repeatedly, my fury pouring out of me in the form of more crystalline tears.

After a few attempts, the bottle and its lid finally separated with a crack.

My sobs of desperation faded away as I stared down at the bottle, my vision still blurred from my unshed tears.

fuck

language.

frick.

I bent down to the floor, nearly vomiting from the pain as I did so, and looked at the tablets that were now scattered across the bedroom floor.

There were two colors of the pills, meaning one wasn't paracetamol, and one was, but I didn't have the slightest clue which was which. There were white pills and red ones, neither of them labeled.

Oh well.

I popped two of the red pills in my mouth, two more in my pocket, and one white one along with it, since there were significantly less of them in the bottle.

I plopped the pill bottle back into the drawer, and slid it shut before exiting Joey's room and heading back to my own quickly at the realization of the passing of time.

I grabbed my bag off of my bed, along with the babbling baby, and headed towards the door for school.

Oh sweet baby Jesus pray for me.

★・・・・・・★

Authors Note

Had this pre written, ik it's dark, but it will lead to some sweet scenes I promise (this is what i've been waiting forrr)

Ily all! (You are so fucking loved 💕)

Language!

- Kat

WC- 951