Drunk Diary

Chapter 28: See-Saw

WARNING:

This chapter contains scenes depicting depression, loss of will, self-loathing, and alcoholism.

Please bear in mind that fictional characters do not always serve as perfect role models or heroes—they are written to represent, as subjects of a narrative that the story wants to convey.

Reader discretion is advised.

CHAPTER 28

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JOON

"What the hell was that, Mina?"

Nang maiwan na lang kaming dalawa sa may corridor at walang ibang tao ay inalis ko na agad ang mga kamay niyang nakapulupot sa braso ko.

She tsked three times before folding her arms over her chest. "Joon, ako na nga itong tumutulong sa iyo, eh. Gusto mo bang mahalata ni Pabs na nagpapanggap lang tayo?"

"Pabs isn't here. He's in Gokongwei," mariin kong paalala sa kaniya. Although my voice wasn't so convincing either.

Kahit naroon siya sa dati kong university, marami pa rin siyang mga mata at tainga rito sa Yuchengco. I actually have this disconcerting feeling that Ross might be one of them. Dumadalas na kasi ang panunukso niya kay Cleng, tila ba sinusubukan ako.

Pabs gave me a list of the different things I have to do before he could let me live my life. One of those was joining the rival team of Green Giants, which was the Blue Sharks. He told me I had to destroy my own team, my friends, by winning the game. So I did.

He told me to change schools so I don't get to mingle with my old friends. So I did.

He told me to cut my connection with my father, and with my family. So I did.

He told me that I had to let go of my trusted butler, Simon. It was really hard for me to do so. Simon was like a father to me... but I did.

He told me that I should forget Cleng, that we should never see or contact each other, and that I could only date from one of his girl friends so he could still monitor my actions...

And he thought I did.

Mina was one of Pabs's cohorts. Siya rin iyong babaeng naka-date namin noon nina Tobin at Anlex sa Rue Bourbon. Siya ang unang nagsabi na mag-iingat ako kay Pabs. Hindi ko siya gusto, pero mukhang kaya ko siyang kontrolin. Noong araw na pinapapili ako ni Pabs kung sino sa kanila ang gusto kong maging bagong girlfriend, nang makita ko si Mina ay agad ko siyang pinili.

Nang sundan niya ako no'ng araw na iyon sa condo ko ay inabutan ko agad siya ng pera. "I'll keep giving you a monthly allowance, just so you could report to Pabs whatever the fuck he wants," determinado kong sabi sa kaniya noong araw na iyon. "But you'll never touch me, and I'll never touch even a strand of your hair. Get that?"

I didn't care if I sounded like a bad guy. I didn't care if I sounded cold or heartless. But I don't need any other girl aside from Cleng. I could endure whatever Pabs throws at me, as long as I could continue loving Cleng from afar.

As long as I could protect her, and her smile.

Ganoon na nga ang nangyari, at ngayong bumisita sina Mina sa Yuchengco ay hindi ko maiwasang magalit nang palihim nang hinawakan niya ako sa harap ni Cleng.

"What the hell was that? And really, in front of Cleng? Don't you dare touch me like that again," paalala ko sa kaniya. "Or I'll stop giving you money."