A Chance (Kai from EXO)

[FINAL]Chapter 32: Thankful

I guess this is the end. I thought to myself as I looked out the window of the coach bus. The view outside flew by before my eyes as I tried to take in every single detail as possible. Now that I was actually leaving Seoul, I finally realized how much I would miss this place. It was a pity really; in the beginning I actually looked forward to attending Kae Su High School as it was my dream high school. Who knew this was the outcome? 

I eyed my mother who was seated beside me. She had her eyes closed which I assumed she had already drifted off to sleep. 

I didn't know how many times I had already repeated this move, but I grabbed my phone and checked it yet again. No messages from Jongin. 

I released a heavy sigh and threw my head back against the soft cushion of the seat. Maybe this really was the end. 

As I repeated those few words in my mind, I felt myself suddenly having the urge to cry. Tears began to spin at the back of my orbs and I quickly tried to blink them away before they could escape down my cheeks. "The end" sounded too harsh, too cruel. But the more I thought about it, "the end" became more like reality. I was angry as well as disappointed. 

I really hoped Jongin would tell me to stay, I really did. I knew I was at fault, it was just a selfish wish of mine. I should've known better; I was the one who wanted to leave and Jongin was only there to support me. Yet here I was, putting the blame on him. I felt bad, I felt horrible for myself. 

Maybe Jongin and I were never destined to stay together till the end. Maybe he wasn't my main character. What if he only took the role of a supporting character to mark my new start? I was afraid. What if one day, I will forget the memories I created with Jongin. He will disappear from my life, and maybe I will disappear from his too.  

I didn't want that to happen. But why... Why was it so hard for me to picture our future? Will I end up falling in love with another person? Will we slowly drift apart from each other?

Maybe I was over analyzing everything. It wasn't like Jongin and I couldn't keep in touch; we had phones after all. Yet, why did I feel so uneasy?

I stared down at my phone and my gaze landed on the background picture. It was a picture of Jongin and I, it was taken right before I left. He was smiling brightly and I on the other hand only looked plain awkward. Growing up, I barely had chances to take pictures, and suddenly taking one with Jongin didn't make me any less nervous. 

My thumb unconsciously grazed over Jongin's smile on the screen. I then felt my heart clench and I suddenly felt like crying again. Wow, I really miss him. 

"Who's that boy?" My mother's voice snapped me out of my thoughts, which caused me to flinch in response. She meant Jongin. 

I didn't know how to answer her question. What was I supposed to say? Was he a guy who used to make fun of me? Was he a guy who I occasionally held hands with? Was he my boyfriend? Someone from the opposite sex who I was interested in? In my opinion, none of them really mattered, because Jongin meant so much more than those mere options. 

"O-oh... You're awake."

"Is that your boyfriend?" My mom blurted. She didn't sound angry though, she was smiling.

I played with my fingers that were resting on my lap and struggled to find an answer, "I... I don't know."

My mother chuckled and ruffled my hair. "Do you enjoy spending time with him?"

I thought about it for a second, and then slowly nodded my head. "Yes, I do."

"Good, then that's all what matters."