A Chance (Kai from EXO)

Chapter 26: Empty Words

It was the start of another week, but this time it felt weird. The seat in front of me was empty, and it was bothering me a lot. Usually I was bothered by the fact that he was here, but now that he's not here, it bothered me even more. I furrowed my eyebrows and looked out the window.. I suddenly wished that he didn't get suspended.

As we began to pass down the pile of worksheets, Lay who sat in front of Jongin's seat handed them to me, since Jongin is not here today. As I took the sheets in my hand, I threw him a glance, and surprisingly, he caught it. I wasn't able to pull my gaze away then, so I stared back at him. I didn't know if it was just my imagination or not, but his eyes looked sad. He smiled at me a few seconds later, but that still didn't hide the sadness in his eyes.

He drew his attention away from me and turned around, leaving me speechless. Was I seeing things or..? 

For the rest of the class, I spent the whole time staring at the back of Lay's head. He doesn't look well, and it's really bothering me. I want to ask him what's wrong, but I don't know if I should. Lots of things happened between us, and our relationship right now feels.. really weird. I feel so awkward around Lay now, I hate this feeling. 

I ran back to my dorm right when lunch break started. Barging into my room, I opened my drawers and began to search. I was searching for that one thing that proved my friendship with Lay. That's right, friendship, nothing else.

It was that time when I went out for lunch with Lay... It was my first time eating lunch with somebody else. I remember I asked him a lot of questions on my feelings; he said I was in love. I will never be able to forget that afternoon. And the thing I am searching for at this moment is the plushie he bought me - the unicorn plushie.

I can't find it.

After all these months, how could I have forgotten about that. It held an important place in my heart, right?

-

Exams were starting and this week will mostly be focusing on reviewing. For once, I went to the library after school. I missed a lot of classes during the first few months of school so I have a lot to catch up on. I tried really hard to get into this high school after all, I don't want to get kicked out in the end.

But 10 minutes later, I found myself doodling on the corner of my blank sheet of paper. This is not ok, I can't study. I ran my fingers through my hair and let my eyes wonder across the library. There's not a lot of people in here at the moment, only the sound of turning pages could be heard. My eyes landed on my notebook once again and began to scribble down random things. During the process, I couldn't help but let my mind drift off to another world, but when I snapped back to reality, I almost fell off my chair once I saw what I've written down on my notebook. 

Kim Jongin.

A loud gasp escaped my lips as soon as I realized what I have done. Without any second thoughts, my hand shot towards my eraser to quickly destroy the evidence. What the heck am I thinking!? 

I looked around frantically to make sure that nobody saw what I wrote down, but when the corner of my eyes caught a shadow standing behind me, my body immediately froze while thousands of thoughts instantly flashed through my mind.

What if it's my teacher? What will she think? What if it's my classmate? Is it Jae Mi? Oh god, please don't tell me its Jongin, no no no... 

I slammed my book shut and quickly began to stuff everything back into my bag while trying to act calm. I could still feel that person standing behind me and I could almost feel his/her gaze boring through my back. My movements were so awkward and stiff, anyone could tell that I was obviously really nervous.