22/07/15

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Hey so I finially got the courage to wear my tail in public! So I was going to the wood with my mum and like at first I was terrified and decided to not wear it but half way to the wood I got more comfortable and wore it. it was awesome!! I felt much more happy and confident and nobody said anything to me. I don't think my mum liked it though because she kept on saying stuff about it like "you do know we'll be saying stuff about this when your older' and "don't you know your bringing attention to yourself".

Anywho the wood was cool. Just before we go into the wood there's a huge stretch of grassland and I swear I feel so connected to it. I mean when I was walking past it my urges were so strong to howl I literally had to cough to cover up some that escaped.

When we got into the wood I was collecting twigs and cones and stuff for this dream catcher thing I'm going to make through the holidays. I think the reason I don't feel that connected inside the wood is because its the wrong type of tree. I mean I feel connected to the like tall dark spruce like trees but they're like just your typical tree but just taller.

On the way back from the wood I was still very confident with my tail and even went to the park and went onto a swing and such. There was these little kids in the park and they kept on looking at me x3 it was cute

Then I went into a shop with my mum and like this person who worked there was following us around the shop and then was like "your wearing a tail" and chuckled a bit. Then my mum was like "it's her thing at the moment" and stuff and idk ever since that happened the rest of the walk I felt really intimidated by it all. Then I took it off because my mum said she didn't want people making fun of me and it was to "protect" me.

When I got home I was quite upset and wallowed in my feelings for a while.  Now idk if to wear my tail anymore cos idk if I can deal with what people say and stuff -.- ugh

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