23/03/16

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Hey guys, sorry I'm not posting much. As my therian life is pretty boring now I'm just going to post updates every month or so or earlier if something amazing happens.

So anyway, I had quite a bad dream least night. I dreamt that I wore my tail on my back for a change (I usually wear my tail at my side) and this kid pulled it really hard and it ripped into three pieces. I started crying and yelling "no! No! NO! you don't do that! That's bad" and then I went home with them and like the child went upstairs and I sat downstairs with her mum while trying to fix it. She started explaining that her child had some issues and I forgave her a little. Later her brother came home and fixed my tail for me and it was good as new.

I've also recently come to the caravan which is cool. I felt kinda sad yesterday though because there's this place we stop off at the walk the dog and get food and stuff and I decided while my dad was eating I was going to have a walk in the forest. When he called me back he started to get really angry and shouty and being all like "why do you always go in there? What thrill do u get from it? Is it cos ur wearing that tail? Are u gonna start howling next? Can u be normal for a change?"
Yeah when people get angry like that and stop me from doing things that feel natural to me I kinda get a bit upset, it makes me feel kinda like someone who has a big goal in life but cannot conquer it due to their own body e.g. a blind person wanting to become a car racer before medical science.

Also I've trying to figure myself out more. When I first found out I was a therian I got visions of shrubland and like golden grassland but usually more shrubby looking. This carried on for a while but after about 5 or 6 months this feeling of familiarity and homeness kind of went away and was replaced with forests. The thing is though I feel that forests are really familiar but I find when I'm in them I'm not exactly 100% connected. I mean sometimes I go past one in the car and be able to see inside and it'll feel so right but when I'm inside it something seems off and idk what. Maybe because its day and not night? Idk. I'm also a but confused about the shrubland thing because even though I don't have much of a pulling feeling towards shrubland and grassland, last night we were walking along this field in the dark and I imagined the grass below me was really tall and imagined myself running through it and the feeling of it felt really natural and familiar. So maybe its just that it is there but isn't as strong anymore? Also as I was walking in the dark on a grassy bit of dirt along a road with no people around and it felt familiar. Ugh I really don't know what to think. My best guess right now is that I lived in a forest which had some shrubland or grassland (golden) around the outskirts or inside it somehow and it was also close to a city or village.

What do you guys think?

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