I Don't Wanna Lose You

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Sonia's POV

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Jiyong oppa and I have been together for a year now and when I sleep over at Jiyong oppa's house on weekends,he'll try to get in my pants,and I'm getting annoyed by that. I've told him countless time that I'm not ready! But he'll say "Just try.","It's gonna be ok,trust me.". Ugh! How many times do I have to tell him that I'm not ready?! Yes,I might seem religious,not sleeping with men before marriage but thats how my grandparents raised me. And yes,I said grandparents,thats because my mom is always busy with work,working hard to find money so my sister and I don't starve to death or no money to pay school fees and school books but my grandparents payed for most of our stuff,they took care of me and my sister since we were like,toddlers I think. You guys might be asking, "What about your dad?",well my parents divorced and my father flew back to his hometown which where I was born,while my sister was born in my mom's hometown. We would visit our dad once in 2 years and if we were lucky,sometimes once a year. So yeah,thats my not-so-tragic-story,back to base! Sometimes,me and Jiyong oppa would fight over it,but he ends up apologizing anyway. But he still does it! The weekend is almost near,that means sleep over at Jiyong oppa's house. It's not like I don't like it,I could not go if I wanted to but I miss him so I just go anyway. "Hey,weekend's almost near. You excited?" Amanda plopped down beside me while hugging a pillow. "Yup,so excited." I sighed emotionless while I concentrate on my magazine. "Whats with the sigh? You seem less excited. Aren't you happy to sleep over at Jiyong's house?" she asked "I am." I replied. "Well,you don't seem happy at all." Amanda said,raising an eyebrow. "I am happy." I reassured her then continue reading my magazine, "Is there something wrong between you and him?" she asked "Aniyo,it's just...nevermind." I replied, "It's just? Just what? Tell me." Amanda said moving closer to me. "It's nothing." I replied "It can't be nothing. Tell me,I'm a good listener." she said,I closed my magazine and sighed heavily,then I decided to tell her. "Everytime,I sleep over at Jiyong oppa's house,he'll try to have sex with me. It's annoying,I hate it. I told him so many times that I'm not ready,but he still tries." I told her. "Big deal. Just sleep with him." she said with a shrug,I looked at her in disbelief, "You know I can't. Yeah,I might sound religious but that was how I'm raised." I replied. "So? Just try,it might be fun. You gotta break the rules somehow." she said cooly "Yah!!" I yelled at as I look at her with a glare. "Yah." she mimicked me "Ugh! Get off my bed. Go,shoo!" I pushed her of my bed. "Aah! Hey!" she stood up from my bed as I pushed her,she looked at me then mimicked me again. I just rolled my eyes at then lay down facing away from her. "Don't forget to pray before you sleep." she teased "I won't." I said as I waved my hand at her.

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*Sigh* I thought this day would never come. As usual,Jiyong oppa is busy with work,so he'll leave a spare key under the doormat. I have a curricular meeting,so I arrived at Jiyong oppa's house at 7pm. I took a bath then find something to eat. I usually wait for Jiyong oppa by watching tv but this time I watch tv while texting Jongmin oppa:

'Annyeong! Haven't heard from you in a long time. How are you? -Jongmin.'

'I'm fine oppa. When will you be back from Busan?'

'I'll be back next week. Wae? Do you miss me? -Jongmin'

'Ne. Geuriwo,I can't wait for you to come back to Seoul.'

Our conversation went on and on. Then I looked at the clock,

*8:26pm*

"I think I'll go to bed without him,he'll probably come at 9pm." I said to myself.

'Oppa,I'm going to bed now. Good nite.'

'Arraso,good nite. -Jongmin'

After our convo ended,I switched the television off and went to the kitchen for a drink before bed. While I was washing my hands I thought I heard something but I shrugged it off. Then a pair of arms wrapped around and hugged me making me jump alittle. "Oppa,you startled me." I said as I tried to calm down "Mianhe." he kissed me. "Why are you home early? You usually come home at 9." I said "I asked permission from YG to go home early." Jiyong oppa replied as he hugged me tighther. "I missed you." I smiled as I wrapped my hands around his arms. "I missed you too babe." he whispered as he starts kissing my neck making me moan a little. His arms were still around me "It's kinda hot in here." he whispered as he continues kissing my neck,then he slowly lifts my shirt up.

*I know where this is heading.*

Half way up,I push Jiyong oppa's arms away from me and walk away from him pushing him a little,he was a little shocked. "Yah,what's wrong?" he asked as he walks towards me "What's wrong? Ugh,you know what is wrong." I said. "Mwo? About just now? What about it?" he asked "Ugh! Jinjja?! I told you so many times already." I said in a frustrated tone as I sit on the sofa. "Jagi,it's no big deal." he said calmly "No big deal? It is oppa,it is and I'm not ready." I said as I stood up and crossed my arms. "Just think of it as a game. It's fun." he said with a small shrug. "Oppa,it's not a game." I said as I gave him a glare. "Just try will you. It won't kill you anyway." he said, "How many times do I have to tell you the same thing oppa. I'm not ready!" I half yelled "But I am. You have me,I know the process,trust me." he assured me. "Trust you? Thats all you say, 'trust me'." I said a little annoyed. "Wae? Don't you trust your oppa?" he asked "I do. Just not in this." I said. "Oh,not in this. So you don't trust me at all." he said a little hurt as he walked to the room "Oppa! I never said that!" I yelled as I trailed behind him,he stopped half way to the bedroom and faced me,I stopped. "You can't even trust me in a small thing. How you gonna trust me in a big one?" he said,I looked up to him "This,this is not small oppa. This is already big for me." I said as I furrowed my eyebrows. "Just try." he said

*Again with that!*

"Is that the only thing you think of?" I said in a annoyed tone "Mwo? A man has his own needs." he said "Well,thats irrelevant." I rolled my eyes. "Jebal,just once." he said "Aniyo oppa! Why don't you get me? I told a lot of times!" I yelled, "Don't you trust me?" he raised his voice. "I do oppa,I do trust you." I said, "So? What,you don't trust me in this?" he said in disbelief "Ne! I can't do it!" I yelled "Fine,don't trust me. Don't trust me at all." he yelled feeling annoyed. "Oppa! Wae don't you understand me?! I can't ok. I can't,accept that already! I'm ready when I'm ready!" I yelled. "Well,you don't understand me too! You don't even trust me,your own oppa! We don't get each other! And we will never understand each other!" he yelled. "Ne! We don't understand each other,and ne we never will! So don't ever hesitate to end this relationship! I'm fed up with you!" I yelled louder then walk away to a diffrent bedroom leaving him in the hallway. I slammed the door shut and sat on the bed facing away the door with my knees brought up to my chest. I started feeling a lump in my throat and my eyes were starting to tear up.

*Why doesn't he understand me? It's not like I'm asking him to do something hard. It's just one simple thing.*

Tears began running down my cheeks as I let out quiet sobs so he doesn't hear me. I tried to hold in my sobs by covering my mouth with a pillow. The pillow eventually got wet because of my tears. We never fought like that before,yelling at each other like that. Our yells woke the neighbour's dog,I could tell it was loud. I looked at the clock,

*11pm*

We fought for 2 hours,I didn't really mean what I say back there. I can't imagine breaking up with him,but if this goes on I have no choice but to end this. I can't go on fighting with him every weekend. Just by thinking of breaking up with him made more tears run down my cheeks. Then the clock striked 12,just as the clock hit 12 I heard someone slowly open the door but I didn't bother to look,tears were still streaming down my face making my eyes puffy. Then someone sat beside me,but I was facing away from him. "Jagiya." Jiyong oppa softly called me, "I-I didn't mean what I said just now,about us not getting each other. I do get you,but I'm just stubborn." he said but I just kept quiet. "Jagi,mianhe. Please forgive oppa,I didn't mean to hurt you like that." he apologised but still I had nothing to say to him. "Jagi,you know I'd never end our relationship. And I never will,even though you're fed up with me,but I'll never get bored of loving you,I don't wanna lose you. Saranghae jagiya." he said whole-heartedly. I couldn't help but forgive him,I turned around and there he was,his eyes were red,his cheeks were wet I could tell he too was crying,he was all messed up. I hugged him tightly and he immediatly hugged back "Saranghae jagi,mianhe." he hugged me tightly as if he was scared he'll lose me. "Nado saranghae,oppa." I replied,I broke our hug and cupped my cheeks. Then he kissed me passionatly,we eventually fell asleep in that room.

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I updated,yay! Please send your feedbacks,what did you guys think of it? I tried to make it long so I hope it's long enough. Vote,Comment and Fan. Kamshamida! ^^

-ZeloJiYong

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