Brave Reborn (OUAT/Peter Pan Fanfic)

Chapter 4

The party was no more than minutes away. I was wearing a gold noble embroidery bodice gown dress in navy blue with gold heels. Like this morning, I could not breathe. Not because of how tight the dress was, but how nervous I was about what could happen. The beast being let loose.

I came down to the hall to meet Felix and he escorted to the ballroom. It was by tradition that he was supposed to do that. When we entered the ballroom, all the guests cheered. We talked to a few, then we danced.

I must not have been paying attention because Felix asked me if I was alright.

"Um, yeah. Uh, it's just," I started to lower my voice, "You know."

He must have been embarrassed because his eyes widen and his face turned redder than my hair.

"Do you needed to, um, rest?" He asked.

"Yeah, do you mind?"

"No, not at all. Do need me to help you to your room?"

"No thanks, see you later," I said.

I shoved through the ballroom floor and hesitantly made my way up to my room. I changed into more suitable clothing and grabbed my sword, bow and arrows.

As I tried to sneak my way out of the hall, someone grabbed my hair and dragged me to the tapestry room. The figure threw me to the floor. When I got a good look, I realized that it was my mother. My angry mother.

"I don't believe you! I've just about had enough of you, lass!" She started  to yell.

"You're the one that wants me to—" I started

"You just embarrassed them! You embarrassed me! You don't know what you've done!" She interrupted.

"I don't care how—"

"There'll be fire and sword if it's not set right."

"Just listen!"

"I am the queen! You listen to me!"

"Oh! This is so unfair!"

"Huh! Unfair?"

"You were never there for me! This whole marriage is what you want! Do you ever bother to ask what I want? No! You walk around telling me what to do, what not to do! Trying to make me be like you! Well, I'm not going to be like you!"

"Ach! You're acting like a child!"

"And you're a beast! That's what you are!"

I pointed my sword at the family tapestry that my mother had been working on.

"Merida!" She gasped.

"I will never be like you!" I yelled.

I stuck the tip of my sword into the tapestry.

"No! Stop that!" She begged.

"I'd rather die than be like you!" I said.

Suddenly, I slashed the tapestry, a line between mother and the rest of the royal family. She was so upset that she took my bow.

"You are a princess! I expect you to act like one!"

Then, she threw my bow into the fire, where it burned along with my soul. Hot tears streamed down my face. I could feel my heart shrink and agony dilate. It's coming out. I could already feel fur growing on my knuckles. I could feel my ears changing shape. I could feel my teeth getting sharper.

It was like a vexing of the soul for what I felt was not human, it was twisted and distorted but it was something strong. It burned so bad like fire lacing my veins and creeping up my spine, my skin was a sore looking red but all I could feel was desire; desire to hate and kill. I was intoxicated with emotion I had no intention of ever feeling, the acidity of it was residing in my stomach waiting to be spat out of my mouth in foul and vulgar words I would be stared at for saying, except I wasn't going to say them, I was going to screech them with every ounce of breath that dwelled in my lungs.

I ran out of the room and into my bedroom. I was heavily breathing. The room started to spin. Then the world around me became smaller and smaller. The last thing I saw before I black-out was my mother screaming in fear. Screaming in fear of me.

•••

I woke up with the queen of all headaches. Everything was a blur. I looked around to examine if anything seemed familiar. All I could make out was red. Dark red. My heavy breathing started again. When everything was clear, I gasped. I looked down at my hands, red and wet. 

From the splatters on my hand I knew, it was not mine. That this kind of effect comes from someone being attack by an animal. My eyes are as wide as they could be without falling from their sockets. That was until I noticed them. I screamed. I looked around to see if somebody, anybody, is alive. No one.

They lie like dolls over the cold stone, limbs at awkward angles and heads held in such a way that they cannot be sleeping. These bodies, once the repositories of people as alive as I am, were now abandoned shells left to rot in the open. Who will bury them and weep salty tears onto their grave? Who will send them away with a love song and kiss the breeze that carries them heaven-bound? Likely no-one at all. Some will be consumed by the wildlife and others simply decay, slowly giving up their flesh to the soil and showing their white bones to the sun.

I started to check all the rooms. I slammed every door. I started to give up when finally I looked into the tapestry room. My mother and dad were there with my brothers. They were okay! I was about to open the door when I heard, "Oh, count your stars, lass. The monster almost had you. Are you hurt?"

"It's your daughter, Merida!" Said me mother.

"You're talking nonsense!"

"It's the truth! It's not Mor'du!"

"Mor'du or not, I'll avenge your daughter! I'll not risk losing you!"

"No, Fergus! Just listen to me!"

The sadness flowed through my veins and deadened her mind. It was a poison to my spirit, dulling me, killing off my other emotions until it was the only one that remained. It was as if a black mist had settled upon me and refused to shift, and no matter how bright the day was I would feel no sun and hear no bird song. For the world was lost to me and I knew of nothing that would bring it back into focus.

I never meant any of this to happened. I justed wanted to go outside and let the bear out. Instead, I ruined everyone lives. How could I ever look my father in the eye after what happened? How could I expect my brothers to live normal, healthy lives? 

I slowly made my way to my room I started packing everything I could fit in my bag. A few coins, dagger collection, swords, a bow and arrows along with some other essentials. Then I changed into and an outfit that my parents never let me wear. Riding pants with boots and a teal shirt. I also wore a long necklace to make me remember what I did.

I watched my feet take steps across the cold stone, only to look up when the color change. I was walking unusually slowly as if my brain was struggling to tell each foot to take the next step. It was as if she were in a stupor; like someone under hypnosis in one of those cheap carnival acts.

Regret washed over me like the long slow waves on a shallow beach. Each wave was icy cold and sent shivers down my spine. How I longed to go back and take a different path, but now that was impossible. There was no way back. There was no way to make it right. The remorse would eat at me every day of my life. I envied the pebbles, hard and lifeless, unable to feel the torments of life