Brave Reborn (OUAT/Peter Pan Fanfic)

Chapter 45

The first orange hued rays of sunrise kissed the still dust laden rubble with the same loving care as the undertaker with the recently departed. These soft rays that should have brought warmth to a new day only acted to solidify the reality of their losses. In the dark, they had only the smell of the bombs and the fires to contend with, but under the radiating glow of the clouded sky, there was no hiding. I wished with all my might that it would sink back down below the horizon so they could have more time to grieve and process their abrupt change in fortune, but you can not argue with the sun.

Soon after the vibrant summer rays have begun to warm the day, the morning is as assured as the tides and just as unstoppable. I need a few more hours of blackness. Not to sleep, but to prepare, to pour my thoughts out onto a page, reorganize, prioritize and pack them back in again. That morning was not gray but by soothing lavender and brilliant amber. The colors merged into a fiery pink and peach.

"Hey, Mer," I whispered as I carried her around Tinkerbell's tree house. I sent Tink away to gather some berries, knowing little the real reason behind that task. 

"We are going to take a little trip somewhere," I spoke softly. "And you are going to stay there for a while, without me."

With eyes brimmed with tears and a quivering lip, she was utterly out of her depth. The baby's arms became faster, grasping at the air with increased speed, her shrill cries were only broken by her gasping for breaths in between. Her face was blotched and her little mouth stretched wide.

"Please! I don't want this either," I sniveled. "But I have to think what's best for you. You need to have your best chance."

I rub the tears away with my fingers and started rocking back and forth. Soon nothing but the morning noises filled the room, and the harsh cries softened to snuffles.

"That's my girl. Think of it like a vacation from Neverland. The tribe travels, so you get to see the world. The next sixteen years will go by so quick, you won't even notice."

•••

Though it may seem impossible, time itself on Neverland became slower. Yes—ridiculous as it sounds— the island where clocks are useless, time became an infinity. The hours seemed to pass by endlessly. It was like being stuck in a loop of time, minutes turning into hours, hours into what felt like days. The transition between sun and moon seemed to become slower. Everything was so much slower, like molasses dripping off of a spoon.

Felix and I were the only two people who had positive memories of Merida. I mean, there were the some of the pirates, the Darlings, and Baelfire; but they never had anything nice to say about Merida. As everything changed in Neverland, the lost boys forgot about their origins and past. Sadly, Merida was one of those memories that was lost. Even Josh, the lost boy that she saved, barely recalled that he was ever close to death. It made my blood boiled that after what Merida did for them, all they gave in return was forgetting her memory. 

I never understood how Felix still remembered not only Merida but his past. He could give the tiniest detail of how he got his scar centuries ago. When the lost boys ask who Merida was, he simply answered, "The only person who I trust, besides Pan." Then he walked away.

So much had changed since the past events. To begin, I let Baelfire leave Neverland into the world without magic. I needed him to fulfill the prophecy that will save me. Knowing that he would never leave the Darlings behind, I placed a memory lost spell on all of them. They would never now that their paths had crossed with each other in Neverland. Shortly after, I sent Michael and John to the same realm to keep an eye on Baelfire. I tried to dedicate my entire focus on obtaining the heart of the truest believer to make the time pass faster, but it did no justice.

There was a part of me that wanted to visit Merida during those years. I was interested to see what she was like before our paths crossed long ago. Was she always the tomboy that I knew and love? Were her curls crazier as a child or in her teenage years? Will she still have her accent? Questions swirled in my mind on sleepless nights. I wanted to see Merida, but I knew she would not understand what happened. How could she? I spent months after her death trying to grasp that she was really gone. I did not know what was worse: living with her dead or living without ever seeing her.

•••

I peered out over the balcony, my eyes taking in the bright colors squeezing through clouds. It was chilly, I thought, pulling my thin cloak around myself. The scent of rain hung in the air as I watched the sky darken and the colors fade away as morning fully arrived. Pinks, yellows, and reds disappeared first. Blue soon followed, overtaken by the grayness climbing over the mountain tops. But as the mist thickened and the unmistakable roll of thunder growled threateningly, one color hung on, rapidly fading. Orange. It did not take long until the husky color faded. 

Every day for the past sixteen years I told myself Merida's story over and over, keeping her spirit alive. It seemed to help me past the time. The time waiting for Merida. The time waiting for the heart of the truest believer. In order to me not to forget, I wrote down in a book. The first words I would see was,

Some say our destiny is tied to the land, as much a part of us as we are of it.