Brave Reborn (OUAT/Peter Pan Fanfic)

Chapter 24

(Merida POV)

It seemed almost like a nightmare to me. A nightmare that will repeat over and over. The kind of nightmare that will leave you screaming in your bed. What happened in there was obscene. The last thing I remember before I blacked out was a pair of dead eyes. Those eyes belonged to a person. That person may did me wrong, but she does not deserved what I did to her. No one deserves that. Now she will never laugh, never cry, never smile again. I took her life along with so many others; and I can't give it back.

"Merida," a voice echoed in my head. "Merida."

I fluttered my eyes opened to a blurry image.

"I think that she is waking up." Another voice said.

"Back up, boys. Give her some air!" A third voice called.

My eyes opened up to my room. My beautiful room in my grand tree house. The morning breeze opened my window, letting out so many smells that I missed. Pan was about to shut the windows when I stopped him.

"Please," I said. "Leave the window open. I didn't feel a morning breeze in a long time."

Pan smiled, "It's nice to hear your voice again, Mer."

"It's nice hearing your snoring again, too." Hubert sarcastically said.

"How long was I gone?" I gravely asked.

"A few months." Felix said.

"It felt like years."

"I know," Pan frowned.

I tried to get up, but the boys stopped me.

"You will not move a finger." Hubert said. "Anything that you need, we will get."

"What I need is to be in the sun. I want my bare feet to touch the grass. I want to go to the beach!" I laughed.

"I don't know, Merida." Felix said with gentle remonstrance. "You just got back here."

I sadly smiled, "Okay, I guess."

So far so good, I guess.

"What happened to you down there?" Pan asked, with sincerity.

I was dead silent. I never want to talk about that again. I never even want to think about it again. I tried to hold back a sob.

"I'm sorry that was really stupid of me to ask." He said.

"You think?" Felix muttered.

I rolled my eyes. This is not going to be easy to forget. I may never forget it. That may be the most painful thing–remembering.

•••

It was a few days since I returned. The whole thing was bittersweet. No one has given me any alone time at all. Especially Pan. He would not leave me alone in a room for a second without any fear. Pan might as well watch me sleep for goodness sake! I need to be alone.

I discovered this place on a hunting trip several weeks ago, before my...absence. It was a lovely place. It was a beach with a wonderful view of the sunset. I had been waiting for the right moment to use the calm space.

With every step the sand shifted. With every motion forward there was some backward and down, just like walking in fresh fallen snow. Yet unlike the crystalline blanket of white bequeathed by the winter time, the fine grains under foot gave me warmth from the sun's rays. Like their sky-bound benefactor they are yellow, as if the sunshine itself is trapped inside these unmelting crystals of silicone and oxygen. Despite the heat I found myself frozen in place once my eyes take in the ocean. The waves roll in white tipped, spreading themselves like fine lace over the beach after they crash in their soft way. There was nothing noisy about them, yet they have sound. Perhaps to me it is more like the music of my childhood summers so long ago with the people I have loved and lost.  I closed my eyes and think, think to forget. "Are you crying?" Pan asked.