Star Wars Preferences

Lucy

For Its_a_Maxocracy . The song is Lucy by Skillet. Warning: serious feels trip ahead!!!! I know the song was originally about an abortion, but I think it could be used for a lot of things.

Hey Lucy, I remember your name
I left a dozen roses on your grave today
I'm in the grass on my knees
Wipe the leaves away
I just came to talk for a while
I got some things I need to say

Anakin quietly made his way into the Jedi tombs, careful not to be spotted. He found the grave he was searching for and knelt in front of it. He laid the little bouquet of flowers on top as he brushed the dust from the inscription. Padawan y/full/n, a light by darkness too soon slain. There wasn't really any reason for Anakin to read it. He had pretty much memorized it by now. "Hey, y/n/n, it's me again," he said.

Now that it's over
I just wanna hold her
I'd give up all the world to see
That little piece of heaven looking back at me
Now that it's over
I just wanna hold her
I've gotta live with the choices I've made
And I can't live with myself today

You were his best friend, but you both had very strong personalities, and you fought a lot. This had been one of those occasions. He had argued with you on something that seemed remarkably silly now. It ended with him telling you that you were stupid, weak, and worthless, then storming out while you sobbed. He felt terrible later, and wanted to apologize, but you had already left on a mission with your master. Soon after he found out that both you and your master had been killed by General Grievous. Anakin crumbled when he heard the news. You died believing that he hated you, when nothing could be farther from the truth.

Hey Lucy, I remembered your birthday
They said it'd bring some closure
To say your name
I know I'd do it all different if I had the chance
But all I got are these roses to give
And they can't help me make amends

Even though Jedi don't celebrate birthdays, Anakin always tried to do something a little special for yours. It was a tradition he continued even after you were gone. It helped him deal with your absence. "I remembered today's your birthday, y/n, so I got you some of your favorite flowers," he told the tomb. He was quiet for a moment, and then the tears started rolling down his face. "Y/n, I'm so sorry. I should never have said what I did. I was going to tell you when you came back, but you didn't come back. I should've chased you down, I should've gone with you, I should've called you, I should've done something," he sobbed.

Now that it's over
I just wanna hold her
I'd give up all the world to see
That little piece of heaven looking back at me
Now that it's over
I just wanna hold her
I've gotta live with the choices I've made
And I can't live with myself today

Just like the tears, all the feelings he'd kept bottled up inside came spilling out. "I need you, y/n. I always did, and in more ways than you know. I love you. I didn't know it at the time. Well, maybe I did. I was just so confused. I know Jedi aren't supposed to love. I had so many contradictions and I took them out on you. I need you here so I can fix my mistakes and wrap my arms around you and make you feel so, so loved."

Here we are, now you're in my arms
I never wanted anything so bad
Here we are for a brand new start
Living the life that we could've had

You smiled back at Anakin, caressing his face. He held you close, and kissed you in the bright sunshine. There were no Jedi, no war, nothing to hold you back. You were free to live and love as you wanted for so long.

Me and Lucy walking hand in hand
Me and Lucy never wanna end
Just another moment in your eyes
I'll see you in another life
In heaven where we never say goodbye

You started to fade and Anakin reached out for your hand. You took it and have him one last sad smile before the entire scene faded. What had felt like only moments to Anakin had actually been a few hours. He woke up with his head on your grave and Obi Wan gently shaking him awake. The older Jedi knew about his former student's feelings for you, and even though he should rebuke Anakin for those emotions, he couldn't bring himself to do it. He had been very fond of you himself. When Anakin realized that it was only a dream, he broke down again. His master just sat beside him and threw an arm around the weeping man's shoulders. "It hurts Obi Wan. It hurts so much. I'm trying not to feel, master, but it just won't go away," Anakin cried. "I know Anakin, sometimes wounds take many, many years to heal," he comforted, "And I know you want her here with you in the flesh, but she's one with the Force now. She'll always be watching out for you." You smiled at that. Obi Wan didn't know how right he was. They couldn't see you, but you were there; your Force ghost stayed with them until they left, and then you vanished.

Please don't hate me. It hurt to write this. I'm in the same boat as y'all.