✔ | CHASING CARS | T. HIDDLESTON

Chasing Cars (11)

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chapter eleven

memories

"Hi, Jennie." I said to the caregiver. My mum still lived in our old house at Wimbledon, "This is Tom, a friend of mine." Tom offered his hand to the young woman.

"Hi Jennie, it's a pleasure." He said.

"Hi, it's a pleasure too. Um, sorry...it's just me or you were in a TV show?" Both of us chuckled and Tom's face turned bright red.

"Yes, I was in a TV show." Those were the few words he could pronounce. Every time we were out and someone noticed who he was, he tried to pull himself together. It was, cute, to see him all ashamed and blushing.

"You should start to get used to your fame, or try at least." I said, pinching his side, "Where's mum?" I asked.

"She's in the garden, we were planting some seeds." We walked through the living room to the sliding glass door. She was sitting on a bench and Jennie had placed a small table across from her, in which were many small paper bags of seeds and flower pots, "Those are nice." I said to her and she smiled.

"Yes, they are. Do you like daisies?" My mum replied and I nodded. Coming to see her was the worst thing. I didn't like to see her like that, "Come on, sit down, take these seeds and put them in that flower pot." I did as she said. Tom was standing in the doorway.

"And, how are you mum?" I asked. She hesitated for a moment and I could feel her eyes on me, "How have you been?" I looked up at her, smiling.

"I'm okay, honey, thank you." She smiled back. It was so weird. My mum was there, physically, but her mind, her memories were partially gone, they were like a Jigsaw puzzle with missing pieces, pieces that she would never find and if she found them, she'd lost others, always leaving the puzzle incomplete. Everything could happen, she could remember my name, but she wouldn't recall that I was her daughter or vice versa. Sometimes, she switched the time, she could be living in her own world, thinking that I still was in school, stuff like that.

"That's good. What a nice day, isn't it?" I always tried to start a conversation with her, but it was difficult, even though she was my mum.

"Who's the guy over there?" She asked, referring to Tom, he was standing there with his hands inside his pockets.

"Oh, that's Tom. He is Diana's son, Diana is a good friend of yours mum." Tom noticed that we were talking about him, he walked towards us, "That's the kid who broke your lamps." I said smiling and rubbing my hands in a piece of cloth.

"I didn't do it by myself, I had good help." Tom said, "Hi Mrs. Oakley, you look lovely today." He said sitting next to her and tapping her gently on her shoulder, "The garden you have is beautiful." My mum smiled.

"Yeah, it looks beautiful because we stopped digging in the soil, making so-called castles." I said.

"Tommy? Oh my goodness, you're all grown up!" We smiled and mum hugged him. See what I said? She still believed we were kids.

"Yes, I grew up. I'm sorry about the lamps."

"Oh dear, there's no problem."

"I just want to clarify that, she..." He pointed at me, "She broke the first one!" I gasped as I narrowed my eyes, "Don't say you didn't, do not lie."

"Robin? You broke the first lamp?!" There she was, I only smirked at her, "Nicole?" At least she remembered the silly things I did. I didn't complain about it. She was my mum, and even if she remembered me or not, I would always love her.

"No! It was Tom!" I couldn't help but chuckle, "Mum, don't believe him, he's evil!"

"I'm not evil, you liar!" I turned and saw Jennie kneeling next to the roses and cutting some, mum loved roses in the middle of the tables. Jennie was trying to contain the laughter, "Your daughter hid my CDs on April fools!"

"That was ages ago." I stuck out my tongue at him.

"Robin! Don't be rude!" My mum said and giggled. The last time that Tom and I came together, was the same. She always remembered something about us, I believe that having a couple of kids destroy everything was kind of a trauma, because she seemed to remember those peculiar events.

When Jennie said it was time to go inside, we did. Tom made some tea and we chatted for a while, until mum forgot who we were and what were we doing. As Jennie was the person who spent the whole day with mum, somehow, she was always in her memories, she was the only one who wasn't a complete stranger for mum.

Six o'clock, and it was time for my mum's medicine, she would sleep for two hours at least while Jennie prepared the dinner, "Say goodbye to your daughter and her friend, Grace." Jennie said to my mum.

"I'll come to see you on Saturday, okay?" I said and smiled at her, I slowly opened my arms to hug her, strongly hoping that she didn't refuse, "I love you mum." I hugged her tight when I felt her arms wrapping me and the lump growing in my throat.

"I love you too, dear. I'll be waiting for you." She said and her eyes fixed on Tom.

"It was a pleasure to see you again Mrs. Oakley, I'll do my best to visit you soon." Tom said to my mum as he hugged her, and I couldn't anymore. I gave her a smile and walked away. I climbed the stairs and got in my old bedroom. I locked the door, I didn't want Tom to see me like that. This is going to sound stupid, but I threw myself to bed, just like teenagers do in films, and let out the pain stuck in my chest.

Why my mum? Why does this disease exist? I was a child, and I just wanted my mum back.

"Nic, are you in there?" I heard Tom saying from the other side of the door. I didn't reply, "Please, open the door, Nic." His voice was calm and soft, "Nicky, please. Let me in." More tears filled my eyes and rolled down my cheeks.

I slowly walked towards the door and opened it. I just stared at him, and saw that concern in his eyes. I couldn't bear the look he gave me, it reflected my own pain, "Tom..." I said and my voice broke, I wanted to tell him how I was feeling but the pain in my throat was unbearable, no words came out of it. I just let him put his arms around me.

"Hush, it's okay." He said softly and rubbing my back. I let out a choked sob and felt his grip tightening around me, "It's okay."

"Tom...I hate this, I hate this so much." I managed to say as I whimpered with my face buried in Tom's chest. He didn't say anything, there was nothing to say. His words or anybody else's wouldn't change the situation. He walked me to the bed and we sat down, "Tom, I miss her. I don't know what to do!"

"We just have to be with her, never leave her alone-"

"I just want her back! I just want my mummy back." The twenty seven-year-old woman, had just turned into a eight-year-old little girl again.

"Hush." He hugged me again, "Don't cry." He said in an attempt to make me feel a little bit better, but I heard his voice cracking, "Why don't you lie down, everything's gonna be okay." I buried my cheek in the pillow, "Try to get some sleep, we can go home later, there's no problem." I nodded as I rubbed my nose. Suddenly, I was battling to keep my eyes open, but the feel of Tom caressing my head, was so relaxing that I finally let myself go.

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Hello there! This has been the longest chapter I've written for this book. Hopefully, the next chapters will be like this one. I am really glad that there are people who reads my story and I want to say thanks for that, you're amazing!

Leave your thoughts about the chapter :) and thanks for reading once again :*

Love, Liz.