✔ | CHASING CARS | T. HIDDLESTON

Chasing Cars (31)

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chapter thirty one

subtle confession

"Did you get home safe?" I hummed an answer, "Good, um, why did you leave like that? Everyone was asking for you." Tom asked and I felt like throwing my phone against the wall, "Oaks?" I made an effort to sound sleepy instead pathetic, I came home crying. Disappointed with myself, it was so stupid! Yeah, I wouldn't be the first girl in the world who falls for the male best friend -like Lila said- but, God! I just couldn't stand the idea!

"I needed to sleep."

"I know you Oakley, why don't you tell me why are you crying?"

"I'm not crying."

"Oh, yes, yes you are."

"I'm not."

"Are we really going to play this? You say no and I say yes until you break into tears? Just, tell me."

"Okay, I'm crying. But I'm alright, I promise. I just remembered something sad." I heard him growling, "Fine, it was a lie."

"Is it Clay? Has he done something to you? Because if he's done-"

"No, I'm not crying for him. It's for something else. I'm so confused right now, Tom. It's about...work." I said, "I don't know what to do."

"Tell me, I might help." I took a deep breath and squeezed the bridge of my nose.

"There are two exhibitions, but I just can pick one, right?

"Right."

"The thing is that I've been working on the exhibition number one for a long, long time, which is my favourite, but, there are many, too many curators that are trying to take it away from me. Tom, I've spent my entire life taking care of it and I would die for that exhibition. I don't want any of these other curators to ruin it, what if they don't take care of it properly? I don't want them to hurt it."

"Hurt it?"

"Yes, hurt it. But, I'm not sure if I'm the indicated for it either, I don't know if I'm the indicated to work on it. I don't have the courage to try." Try to tell him.

"Don't be insecure about yourself " He said softly.

"Where are you?"

"In bed, don't worry, I like to talk by the phone by nights. It reminds me of the old times." I smiled and turned off the lamp on the bedside table, "So, the exhibition number two?"

"Right, l got the exhibition number two a few months ago, which is very interesting and I love to work on it, even though there's a lot of work left, there are things that I still don't understand about it. It keeps surprising me, but when I compare it to the exhibition number one, it just seems like wasted time. I know everything about the exhibition number one, I know everything about it...Tom, I'm so stressed, confused and angry with myself, I'm a stupid and I don't know what to do!"

"Firstly, you're not stupid. You should take a break from all that, you should stop thinking too much about it. Try to relax and make up your mind, then you can decide." I rubbed my nose, "And don't cry, don't be silly, okay? Have you talked about this with someone apart from me?"

"Only with Lila." I said, "Lila's telling me I should continue with the exhibition number one, and yes, I enjoy working on it, my boss on the other hand, he tells me I should continue with the exhibition number two because, it's more...suitable for me. The number one is a little bit out of reach for me. I guess there are better curators for it."

I was there, comparing Tom and Clay to a museum exhibition, curators to women, Lila, to my heart and my boss to my head.

"Trying new things is good." He said, "Sorry, do you want my opinion?"

"Yes."

"I'm with Lila. You should continue with what you enjoy, with what you like and who says it's a little bit out of reach? You should keep taking care of it, I personally think it's better you know what you have to to do with it, but you're the one who's got the power to decide, and you have to do what you think right. Just, forget about it for a while."

"I'll try." I could picture him smiling on the other end of the line.

"Okay. Do you want to keep talking or, are you sleepy already?"

"No. I'm not sleepy at all." He chuckled.

"Me, neither. Um, what do you want to talk about?"

"Anything."

"Anything? Right." He kept silence while thinking, "Got it. What's your favourite childhood memory? A interviewer made me that question." I began to think.

"I can't answer that. I've got too many. What did you answer?"

"That I didn't know where to start because I had too many, and it's true. But there's an specific one that I still remember with all detail."

"Oh. Are you gonna tell me?"

"No." He said, "It's a secret."

"Oh, a secret, was I present when it happened?" I smiled.

"Yep, very present. You should know about this." I smiled.

"I can't remember." He chuckled, "I just hope it's a good memory. Remember when we went on holiday together? Your family and mine?"

"Yes, I do remember. Probably the best holiday of my life. Camping was one of our favourite things to do, we should repeat it someday."

"Yes, except the part where I almost drowned."

"You so bloody scared me!" He said, "I don't even want to remember that."

"I never got into a pool or a lake ever since. It freaks me out."

"I know. We should get rid of that phobia, I don't know, some day."

"I'd die in the process for sure." He chuckled, "It's midnight. Did you notice it?" We chuckled.

"No, I didn't. We should catch some sleep."

"Yeah, um, okay. Good night."

"Good night."

"Tom?"

"Yes?"

"You're my best friend." The best friend that has ruined my life and he doesn't even know, "Tom?" He didn't answer, "Tom, are you still there?"

"You're my best friend Oaks."

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Love, Liz.