✔ | CHASING CARS | T. HIDDLESTON

Chasing Cars (37)

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chapter thirty seven

analyses, decisions and goodbyes

My first month living in Scotland. It was nice, yeah, until that afternoon I got the results of my analyses. Lila was with me in the small office we shared at the museum. She told me that I had to relax, that I had to stay calm. How on earth was I supposed to be calm? My chances of having Alzheimer's were high, like, really high. And I was getting rather worried since I was very distracted and I was forgetting things, Lila said that it was stress and that I was thinking too much about it.

"Could, could you read it for me?" I said to her and handed her the envelope. She opened the envelope and read it.

"Okay, it says, analysis for Alzheimer's, negative." She smiled

"Thank God!" I touched my chest.

"God." She said quietly and I looked at her immediately, "There's a little thing, um-"

"A little thing?" I panicked, "God, is it cancer? Am I going to die?!" I was almost crying and she smiled and shook her head, "What is it then? Tell me."

"You're pregnant."

"Pregnant?" I asked, "Are you serious?!" She smiled.

"Blood test. Nearly two months and a half it says."

"Give me that!" I tucked a lock of my hair behind my ear and read the piece of paper.

"You haven't had morning sickness?"

"No, no, I haven't. Well, I haven't noticed...I, I've been stressed with work, with the results, um, and- my gosh, I can't be pregnant!" I cried out.

"Why? This is one of the best moments in a woman's life, you're expecting a baby!" She hugged me.

"Get off! This, isn't good!" I grabbed a calendar.

"Clay will love it."

"That's the problem!" I shut the door, "Clay and I haven't been together, the last time we tried we were interrupted by a phone call, nothing happened, it was before the wedding, the day we made the invitations to be honest, and we hvent had sex ever since..." I squeezed my eyes shut, "Lila, I need to tell you something."

"Nicole what have you done?" I covered my face, "Nic?"

"Isleeptwithtom." I mumbled.

"What?"

"I, slept with Tom." She gasped.

"Oh my God." She covered her mouth.

"He, invited me to a party around two months ago, we got drunk, I kissed him and the next morning I was in his bed and, Lila, I can't be pregnant with my best friend's baby! I took the pill the next day, I'm sure I took that fucking pill the next day! This can't be possible!" My eyes filled with tears.

"Oh my God, do you think it's his?"

"Maybe Clay raped me whilst sleeping?"

"Don't say that. What did you do on your honeymoon?"

"I cried and watched Clay sleeping. Romantic, isn't it?" I buried my face in my hands, "What am I going to do?"

"Um, it's only an idea, but, abortion?"

"What? No! I'm not killing the poor creature, it's a human being for God's sake, it isn't the baby's fault! And I would never forgive myself."

"You're gonna tell this to Clay then?"