Monday, December 21
Kyle's POV
Tossing and turning all night, that's all Amber did. I don't think she got a wink of sleep and neither did I. Each time she turned I heard a grunt or a groan or a moan and I can't sleep through noise so I stayed up with her. She even got up a few times to use the bathroom.
I lay on Amber's bedroom floor and literally watch the sun come up.
I think there's something else that's keeping me up. Questions fill my head about why Amber never told me about Aiden. When I found out I didn't really care that she kept it from me - if anything I was relieved that she kept it from me but now that I see things differently I want to know why.
"Amber," I whisper.
I hear shuffling before she says anything. "Yes?"
"Why didn't you tell me?" I ask softly.
She sighs. "What?"
"You know what I'm talking about."
She sighs yet again. "I honestly thought you wouldn't care. You never seemed interested in being a father. All the times we kept trying I just thought you were doing it just to... do it."
She's not wrong. I really did just do it to do it as she put it. "Were you in love with me?"
"Why are you asking these questions now?"
"I'm curious," I admit. And I'm freaking tired because of all your tossing and freaking turning.
"I was in love with you. I love you now but I'm not in love with you."
"Do you love Steven?" I get up off the floor and sit down on the bed next Amber. I expect to see her laying down but she's sitting up.
She shakes her head. "No but he makes me happy and maybe in time I will love him."
I stand up and walk towards the door. I hear her get up and I soon feel her grab my arm. I turn around to face her. "What is it?"
"Maybe you should stay for breakfast or something."
I give her a flat look. "Amber, please."
"Alright, whatever. But thank you for staying with me tonight."
My head starts spinning out of nowhere and Amber suddenly looks different. Before I can register what's happening her arms are around my neck and we're grabbing at each other viciously. We're attacking each other's lips like our lives depend on it.
She manages to get my shirt off and I tug her shirt off but then I see her baby bump and I'm snapped back to earth.
And it clicks. I'm kissing Amber!
We're freaking kissing! What the hell is happening. What am I doing?!
I pull away from her and I'm gasping for air. Not because of the kissing but because of the guilt that hits me like a truck. No, more like a freight train. First I lie to her about where I'm going then I stay over Amber's then I kiss her like crazy and then I'm going to go home and lie to her again.
"Why did we - why did you kiss me?"
Her eyes are wide and her hands go to her hair as she takes a few steps away from me. "You kissed me!"
"Okay, we can never ever let anyone know that this happened. It will just complicate everything, you understand?"
"Yes, yes, that is the logical thing," she mumbles and starts pacing in front of me.
