I Just Want to be Loved

Talking With Niall

I hope you ship it too.

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-Sammy

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It’s been over a month since I’ve lost my baby.

The boys and I don’t talk about it. Things are slowly getting back to normal, but there are simple things that are different.

For instance, the boys have been taking care of Danny more. I don’t think that they’ve realized that I’ve noticed, but I know that they’re doing it so I don’t have to be around a baby since I’ve just lost mine. They also no longer make Mummy Direction references. They’re really careful about what they say to, and around, me.

The voices have been getting louder and more frequent. I hadn’t told anyone about them, but they were scaring me. They were really scaring me.

Louis and I were lying in bed and he wrapped my arms around me and kissed my neck.

“Not right now,” I said quietly and he nodded and removed his arms from me and moved over onto his side of the bed.

“Have you talked to Niall yet?” he asked me.

“No, do you think he’s awake?”

“Probably.”

“Should I talk to him now?”

“Well, if you want to.”

“Okay, I will,” I said and I gave him a kiss and walked out of the room and into the one next to Louis and I’s.

I softly knocked on the door. “Come in,” I heard Niall say.

“Hi,” I said and I went and laid horizontally on Niall’s bed and rested my head on his stomach.

“What’s up?”

“Well, I was wondering if we could talk about something.”

“What?”

“Well, you said something a few weeks ago.”

“What?”

“Well, umm, screw it. I’m just going to ask it. Niall, are you gay?”

I felt him sit up and I sat up to and I faced him.

“Why would you think that?” he asked with wide eyes.

“Um, well, you were really drunk and you told me that you were in love with Harry.”

“What! But, oh my god I can’t believe I told you that,” he said and put his face in his hands.

I scooted up and sat by his side and rubbed his back.

“It’s okay. But, just to make sure, you are gay, right?” he nodded. “You realize that changed nothing, right?”

“The boys will treat me differently if they found out. You didn’t tell them what I said, did you?” he asked quickly.

“I told Louis what you told me.”

“What did he say?” he asked, looking up from his hands.

“He just wanted to know why you liked Harry and not him,” I said and he chuckled.

“So he’s okay with it?”

“He said as long as you don’t try and kiss him, he is.”

“Well I would never do that because I think his girlfriend might murder me if I did.”

“There is not might in that sentence,” I informed him with a smile.

“Well, now that we’re done discussing me, how have you and Louis been?”

“I came in here to talk about you, not me.”

“Well we’re done talking about me, so lets talk about you. Particularly about you and Louis.”

“What about me and Louis?” I asked.

“You two aren’t as close as you used to be.”

“Really, I didn’t realize that,” I said sarcastically.

“What’s changed between you two?”

“You really want to know?”

“Yes.”

“It’s been over a month since we’ve had sex.”

“Did you really just tell me that?” Niall asked and I shrugged and nodded.

“You wanted to know.”

“Do you really think that’s the reason?”

“Well, besides the fact that I’m no longer pregnant and we don’t have a child, that’s the only thing that’s changed.”

“I can’t believe I’m saying this,” Niall said and shook his head, “but go into your room and fuck Louis and get things back to normal.”

I slapped the back of his head lightly.

“What was that for?” Niall asked.

“You just told me, your step-sister, to go and sleep with your friend.”

“I know.”

“Okay, well, that’s not happening until I’m ready. So, to completely change the topic of conversation, should I talk to Harry, or are you going to?”

Niall’s eyes widened. “Talk to Harry? Why?”

“Because you’re in love with him.”

“Why do either of us need to talk to him about that?”

“Because he has a right to know.”

“Please don’t tell him.”

“Are you going to?”

“Please don’t tell him,” Niall replied.

“Are you going to?” I repeated.

“I’m in love with Harry Styles,” I heard Niall say, but the voice didn’t even faze me.

“I will eventually.”

“Do you promise?”

“I promise as long as you  say nothing to him.”

“I promise I won’t.”

“Pinky promise?” he asked, holding up his pinky.

“Pinky promise,” I replied and wrapped my pinky around his.