The Bad Girl Goes To College

27:"I hate you."

"No I'm sure I hate you." I state to Zane. He inhales deeply into the phone.
"Yeah? I'm pretty sure I hate you." How'd we even end up on the phone? Did he call? Or did I? It's been fourty two minutes we've spent on the phone.
"Why though? I didn't fuck Cameron or have a pregnancy scare."
"Yeah that's true. You broke my heart though." This conversation is to casual for me. To calm.
"You broke mine first."
"True."
"What are we doing?"
"Talking."
"I know but why?"
"Because we don't hate each other."
"I'm just waiting for Tayshawn to officialize us."
"That's not even a word."
"But you get the point."
"Yeah. When that happens maybe I'll really hate you."
"Yeah? Maybe when that happens I won't isolate myself to talk to you."
"But then I'll miss your voice."
"But you'll hate me."
"And you'll be moved on but every so often you'll think of me."
"True."
"You missed me today. I knew it. That's why I called." So he was the one to call me.
"I thought about you."
"Did you ever stop?" We both go silent. What are we doing? I wanna ask once more.
"I don't know. My thoughts blur together. You still think about me?"
"Haven't stopped since I met you."
"But we hate each other."
"But we loved each other."
"I hated you when we first met."
"Nah. You tried though."
"Not hard enough."
"True."
"You hurt me."
"You hurt me."
"I hate what you did to me."
"I know. But not me? You say you do but we've spent a whole hour on the phone."
"I'll hate you."
"When?"
"When my heart and mind stops wanting you."
"Why won't you get back with me?"
"You hurt me."
"So you've said. I done it before with Brittany and you hated her."
"True. Maybe it's Tayshawn. I'm falling for him."
"And I'm starting to hate you. More everytime you say his name. You used say my name like that."
"Like what?"
"Like it fit."
"It doesn't anymore."
"Say my name." I chuckle. He's silent.
"Zane."
"I miss you."
"I know." We both go silent.
"In the worst way. I want to come to your dorm and pin you beneath me."
"Zane." I warn him.
"To kiss you the way I know he's afraid to. To remember how you feel. I don't want to make love to you."
"Stop." Yeah. I hate him.
"I want to fúck you."
"You've fucked me enough. Screwed my heart at least. As rough as you wanted."
"And you hate me."
"Yeah."
"But you want to fúck me too." I'm silent. He chuckles and I feel a tingle running down my spine.
"I don't know Zane. I'd be pretty desperate letting that thing near my southern regions."
"I was in you raw after I had sex with her though." He's angry now. I basically hear the anger.
"And that's why I hate you."
"You wish you could."
"Bye Zane."
"Bye."