The Bad Girl Goes To College

28:"fuck a duck"

"And if you had to choose who would you choose?" Andy somehow found out about the conversation I had with Zane. Not what was said but that we talked for awhile.
"Andy..." My mental has been fucked up for quite some time but these days I feel so fucking torn about everything.
"Its a simple question." She's looking at me with those stupid eyes that make me want to pour my soul out to her. Only Andy could really get me talking.
"Zane. Andy I will always choose him. Today tomorrow next week in another lifetime." I sigh and wring my hands together. "He was the first guy I cried over. The first guy that made me feel anything besides that damned void. He made everything okay. After everything he's done. After all the pain all the tears I'd still choose him. He gave me light and when I met him he was shiny and new and dangerous and I knew he'd hurt me but I clung on to the idea of being Zane's girl. Everyone wanted him but he only wanted me. He made me feel alive and he made me invincible and I chose him back then and I always will. I love him! And even though my heart is so fucking heavy with the pain HE caused I still fucking love him. Sometimes when I'm lying down I think of him and I can't fucking breathe because I feel like sometimes I need him."
"Then do what your black heart is screaming for you to do and go back to him." Andy replies in a soft and supportive tone.
"But I don't want him. I want Tayshawn. Because he's sunshine and fucking rainbows. He's walks in the damn park and Netflix. He's stupid ass jokes and sooo much sweets. And I've known him a few months but he's years. Andy when I'm with him I imagine marriage and a white picket fence and a assload of kids and I'm scared because he makes me sooo happy. He makes me okay. Like really okay. And although he's unpredictable he makes me feel safe as fuck. And I am falling for him and what the Hell am I supposed to do!?"
"You said it yourself though, you and Zane were never supposed to work out. And I see how you are with Tay and I like who you are with Tay. You're different and it's a different type of happy. The best kind."
"Well I think I have my guy."
"Gonna go and finally get some dick?"
"Keep playing and I'll take him in your bed."
"And I'll beat your shit all the way in."
"Piss off."
"Make me!"
"Fuck a duck."
"At least I'm fucking something."
"You are such a bitch."

*

"Yo!" That stupid voice yells at the door. Instead of replying I continue to knock. "Who the hell?" Upon seeing this beautiful face he breaks into a breathtaking smile. "Hey baby." Pulling my hand he leads me into his studio apartment. "You good?"
"Tay why haven't you asked me out yet?" He looks taken back by my words and when he realizes what I'm asking he laughs. Like really fucking laughs. "Don't be a ass." I glare noticing he doesn't have on a shirt.
"My bad." He claims even though laughter is still escaping. "But what you mean why?"
"You know what the fuck I mean."
"Watch yo attitude."
"Answer me." I throw my hands in the air and fall back on his bed.
"I don't know. You was already my girl in my eyes." I roll my eyes and shrug. Whatever. Boys are stupid. "You are. You're mine. I'm yours. And if you wanna put a date on it go ahead. But either way you been mine for about a month now." I don't respond, I just close my eyes with a small smile.
When I feel a presence over me my eyes pop open to see a very adorable Tayshawn over me. Before I can respond his lips are on my own and he's kissing me in the way only he can. I waste no time in wrapping my arms around his neck pulling him closer. "Nadia?"
"Hm?"
"You tryna fuck me." He laughs pulling himself back slightly.
"I should be asking you that." My eyes drift towards his very happy member and I laugh, successfully shutting him up. "Now do that thing again." With a smirk he bends down and kisses me once more.

*
"Yooo! You got L A I D! Laiiiddd." Andy yells as soon as I walk back into our living space. "Tell yo best bitch some detail!" As hard as I try I can't seem to stop smiling.
"Biiitch!" I exclaim through laughter.
"Omg biiitchhhh!"

**A/N**
Its short and it sucks but I had to upload something. Anyway the end is very much near!
Xoxo