Adopted By Oprah

Chapter Nine

My first day at the White House was, well, AMAZING!!!! We brought our 8 pygmy goats up here, and they love it! My goat, who is named Pudding, loves to sleep. Isn't she perfect? Anyways, Fergus already put out a law that all people, except for rich people, need to wear morph suits all of the time. He stopped putting money into the wars so he could buy November Italy! She already renamed it to Novemberica. Fergus said that it was token of pure love. So now we're going to Novemberica. There, we are going to meet May, Mother's only real child. She is 17, and goes to a fancy boarding school in the middle of Montana. She doesn't know we are her siblings yet, so, we don't know what to expect. Mom told us something that even May doesn't know, and that even we shouldn't know. She told us who May's father was. I cuddled Pudding in my arms, and was afraid that it would be someone we don't really like, like Donald Trump. But, no, it was none other than HARRY STYLES. Who we also don't really like. We all gasped, and said, "Eh, could've been better." There was a ring at the door, and Fergus told the security guards to let them in. It was May! She had dark blue hair and grey-green eyes. She looked like Mom. "Hun, sit down. I need to tell you who your father is. He's... Harry Styles." May collapsed, and we had to call an ambulance. We got to hospital, where May was in a COMA!!!!!!! Suddenly, her boyfriend from boarding school, Edgar Nipslips, runs in. "Where's my sweet lover!" he cried. He saw her in a coma, and ran in and kissed her! It was like Sno White!! She woke up, and then we went home. We had a huuuuuge party! We invited the Kardashians, Austin Mahone, all Seven Directions, and all of 50 minutes of Winter. It was craaaaazy!!! Then Austin Mahone started hitting on Mildred, and we saved her. I mean she's like 40 so...yeah. Then we kicked him out, and after multiple rounds of charades, we finally ended the party. Lucifera got DRUNK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Then we went to Kay Jewelers to get fancy new bracelets for #TeamSavedByOprah!!!!! They were silver and team name engraved in a sheet of pure DIAMOND! Then we went to watch the newest Mockingjay Movie! (omg lol so nerdy!!!!!!!!!)