Jared's POV
(written by a friend o' mine)
I hate all but one of my stepdaughters The rest are disgusting.
"Oh, sweet Mildred, one day, when Oprah dies, I will marry you! I love you so much, my sweet darling girl." I said, staring at my body pillow with her face on it, whilst gently caressing the life-like features. "What's that? You want me now? Well sweetie, I want you too, but my 'wife' Oprah, is still alive. What's that? There's another way? Ohhhh, well . . . okay. It shall be done. We'll be reunited at last my sweet, sweet angel. I'll see you soon. Soon."
I am finally free from Oprah, who's in Europe for the weekend.
Suddenly, Orchid walked in on me.
Orchid's POV
(k back to me)
WHAT THE HELL DID I JUST WALK IN ON.
Jared is actually insane. He is obsessed with that pillow, I'm sure of it. But, I won't do anything about it. Now, I'm gonna go talk to Fergus about some problems with him and November making, um, noise. And by making noise, I mean their non-stop fighting. Every night, argument after argument. Also, Fergus caught November cheating on him. With the gardener. I mean, come on! At least get someone decent. I mean, Jared was flirting on November, and so was the gardener, Eric.
I mean, #fergvemeber is falling apart. Their daughter, Millie, is always terrified. She knows the divorce is coming soon, and that her Dad is gonna win the custody battle.
"Hey Fergus!" I say, popping into his main office.
"What." he says tiredly, daylight savings has taken a toll on him.
"I just wanted to ask you if you and November could lower your voice at night. It's keeping everyone up, and your poor daughter is terrified." I ask.
"K. I'm signing the divorce papers on Wednesday, so it'll be solved by then. That disgusting pig cheated on me with the GARDENER." he says, beginning to yell, "MY LIFE IS FALLING APART." he says, sobbing with his head on the desk, soaking all of the papers.
I decided to talk to November about this, and left the room.
I found her in the lounge downstairs, filing her 8 inch long nails, running her tongue over her teeth, and talking to Eric. I pulled her aside, and took her up to my room.
"What the hell do you want? Eric was just telling me all about his muscles..." November said, trailing off into her daydreams.
"November-Nancy Louise Annette Tina Rose Marie Giuseppe Nicholas-Winfrey-Gregory, what has gotten into you? First, you go off and cheat on Fergus, then you just go off and start to be a massive pain in the neck to everyone!" I yell, getting louder.
"Well, Fergus is so BORING. All he watches is anime and he sits around singing documents with his god awful signature. ANYONE CAN FORGE IT. Besides, he's really annoying." she said, looking at the ceiling.
"But Millie-" I say, getting cut off.
"She can go live with mom for all I care." She said, before walking out and slamming the door behind her, putting out a cigarette on the wall.
ŞİMDİ OKUDUĞUN
Adopted By Oprah
Mizah*The FIRST Oprah Adoption Fanfic!* Hi! My name is Orchid Summer-Spring Lakes and when I was 16, my life was changed. How you ask? My friends and I were adopted by Oprah.
