rants of a shitty teen

update on my dad's drunken ass

so it's like 11:30 here and about half an hour ago dad called me upstairs and ofc I groaned about it bc bitch I'm tryna read come on

but anyways I walked upstairs into the kitchen and he looked up from his phone slightly then back down then at me and just looked so ashamed bc he was pissed drunk last night and it was beautiful

aside from the fact that he could have quite easily carved my guts out with that knife but whatevs

so to recap last night, this grown ass man got drunk as fuck with my grandfather who is only 12 years older than dad (who is a whopping 38 (he's as old as Gerard help me)). anyways they both got drunk off their asses and I'm at my grandmothers with my dad mom and brother and my aunt who has some kind of mental illness but for some reason I've never known what it is okay. anyways. so me being the lil shit I am, I kept riling the guys up, telling them to fight me and soon finding myself laying on the floor while I'm pinned down bc my fighting skills are A++ go me

and I asked dad to fight me at one point and he was hammered and he was like fuck yes and pulls this fucking knife out of i don't have a fucking clue where and caught me in the stomach with it but it just left a tiny lil mark I'm okay fam

but at one point dad just stops our conversation and looks me dead in the eye and says 'wow I'm so drunk rn' and idk why but I found it hilarious as fuck. also at one point I made him a couple sandwiches and he's eating away at them and there was an empty beer can box sitting on the counter and he tried to lean his arm down on it but instead his arm went through it and it got caught around his arm and his eyes like bugged out of his fucking skull he was so in awe of this cardboard trapping him

and then after going to sleep in the car with it running for about three hours, he decides to get out and take a shit in my grandparents' yard (they live way out in the middle of nofuckingwhere so it's not too embarrassing to them but I mean) and also my parents have had this new car for about a year and haven't smoked in it once and his dumb ass just lit one up and hoooo boy mom was pissed. and then at one point he decides it'll be fun to pull out of the driveway and mom was so mad it was amazing

and he's so ashamed at himself rn and giving me multiple lectures on not to drink bc it's stupid and yeah

moral of the story--don't get as fucked up as my dad or else you might shit in your mother-in-law's yard