Broken | Dan and Phil Fanfiction [COMPLETED]

Hospital

-Dan's POV-

I can't believe I was driving to the hospital at almost ten o'clock for the boy that just cheated on me. I can't believe how hard I was crying. I tried to stop. I told myself again and again that he wasn't worth the tears, but they wouldn't stop coming. Why would he do that? Why would he try to kill himself? I'm not even sure if that's really what happened. I'm going off of what some girl, apparently named Meghan, told me over a short phone call. A girl, I might mention, that was all getting a slice of Phil at the diner. She didn't tell me much. All I got was that Phil had tried to kill himself so she called an ambulance and they had just taken him away when she called me, and then told me the hospital before saying she had to go and just hung up, and being the gullible, sentimental bastard that I am, I just got in my car and started driving to the hospital. It seemed like Meghan was in the same boat as me though. she was sobbing on the phone and I strained myself trying to listen to what she was telling me. When she first told me that he had tried to kill himself it felt like somebody knocked that air out of me. I couldn't breathe for a few moments. Then I thought it might've been some sick joke. I mean I did just catch him making out with another person in a diner. One sick joke after another am I right? Only I'm pretty sure it wasn't a sick joke,  because here I was, balling on my way to the hospital because Meghan sounded genuine. Before I stormed out of the diner he said that he could explain it. I know that's what most people say when they're panicking, but what if he really could explain. What if it's my fault that he tried to kill himself. If I would've stayed and listened then maybe I wouldn't be in this situation right now.

Hospitals are still the same as they were ten years ago. Same weird alcoholy smell, and the same god damn freezing temperature. I had stopped crying but I'm positive you could tell that I had been recently. when I cried my eyes puffed up and my face retained the same cherry-red colour for hours. I walked up to the reception desk where a short scrawny old lady sat. I asked her where Phil Lester was, and she directed me towards the second floor, psychiatric ward. I made sure to take my time up the stairs. There was really no rush, I also didn't look forward to meeting this girl who was kissing my ex boyfriend.
I walked into the psychiatric wing and there were only a couple of people in the waiting room. An older-ish women with a small kid, a man who looked about sixty, and a younger girl. She was looking at the ground, but I could tell she had been crying. Her cheeks were swollen and her eyes were bloodshot. She had slightly frizzy long brown hair and was wearing a dark green shirt that complimented her green eyes. I slowly approached her, and stopped when she looked up.
"Are you Dan?"
I give her a small nod before she unexpectedly jumped up and hugged me. I freak out a little at first. She had rested her head on my shoulder and the hug seemed genuine. I didn't know what was going on, but when I felt a tear of hers land on my shoulder. She probably had no idea that Phil was dating somebody else, and she probably loved him just like I loved him and now she's broken too. She finally released and then just stared at the ground.
"So I guess you kinda figured out what was going on?"

"Yeah." She says quietly, almost like a mouse. "I uh.. I kinda found this next to Phil."
I she extends her arm, and in her palm is a slightly crumpled piece of paper.
"Um it's his note that he left for you."
I feel a wave of concern rush over me. This wasn't a joke, it wasn't a mis-understanding. Phil actually tried to kill himself. He wanted to die. Even though he cheated on me, I still can't deny that I love him.
"Can I see him?"

"Not exactly."

"What does that mean?" I was starting to get a little aggravated just because everything else that happened today seemed to be piling up.
"They just finished stitching him up and he's not awake."

"He sleeping?"

"He hasn't woken back up since I found him. They have him on a breathing machine right now."

"He can't breathe on his own?!"

"He lost a lot of blood, okay! He stopped breathing while I was with him. He stopped breathing before the paramedics got there. They say he might slip into a coma. He still might not make it! Normally, when somebody tries to end their life, they really want it to end. Maybe he'll finally get what he wants."

"How can you say that?"

"His life sucked! More than mine, more than yours. He'd honestly be happier dead than alive, even if it means nobody else will."
I'm trying to avoid eye contact. I try looking at things like the wallpaper, or the empty chairs that were scattered about the room.
"Where are his parents?"
She looks at me and raises an eyebrow.
"How should I know?"

"Well their fucking son just tried to commit suicide, I think they should be informed about that."

"They don't give a crap, they'll probably be happy."

"What do you mean?"
She looks at me and her eyes widen and her hand slowly climbs to her mouth in realization.
"You didn't know."

"Know what?"

"Well... I mean you'd find out sooner or later.." She looks down and starts to lower her hands. "Pretty much, Phil's parents are dicks. His mom is some kind of crazy drunk and his dad... He's another story."

"Does he hit Phil?"

"Well, yeah, he used to but he stopp-"

"No, he didn't..." The thought of Phil's parents being abusive was always in the back of my mind but It never seemed real enough to actually believe. And he defended his dad which just made it seem less likely. But I feel like I always knew, I was just too scared to realize. "Phil came to school all the time covered in bruises and he'd make up some stupid excuse."

"Oh my god.." She just keeps staring at the floor and I see more tears running down her cheeks.

A nurse strolls into the waiting room, "party for Phillip Lester?" me and Meghan make a mad dash over to where she's standing. "He's not awake yet and we're not sure when he will be, but we've stabilized him, so you can see him if you like." she explains

"I don't care if he's awake or not. I just want to see him."
She gives me a tiny nod before slowly leading me down the hall and into a dull hospital room.
There were no flowers or balloons like there were in many of the other rooms. It was just plain and boring, and in the middle of it was a lifeless Phil hooked up to numerous monitors. I couldn't catch my breath for a moment. It felt like all the oxygen had left the room. Seeing him like that, it tore me apart. Both his wrists were wrapped in this white gauze that were slightly tinted red from the blood that was still seeping out of his wounds. He was paler then normal and his hair was messy and greasy.
There was an IV on him that appeared to be pumping blood back into him.
"If he's getting all of the lost blood back, then why isn't he waking up?"

"It's not the cuts they're worried about anymore."

"Well then what the hell are they worried about?"

"Apparently he also took a lot of pills, they think antidepressants, as a backup plan in case he couldn't go through with the cuts. and apparently its working. They pumped his stomach, but they didn't even know he took them until he got to the hospital so I guess they were already affecting him."

I guess I had started crying again. I still loved him. I don't know what kind of horrible person you have to be to cheat on somebody but maybe his life was so bad that he needed two people in his life.
Meghan and I decided to spend the night at the hospital since we were really the only family that he had.

 My mom was texting me every two seconds asking for updates. I, of course, had to tell her where I was going when I randomly left the house earlier. She didn't really approve of me going to see him but she knew how important it was to me. 

It was hard to fall asleep In the small uncomfortable chairs but somehow I managed. Crying for the past two hours wore me out so I was ready to sleep. Meghan sat in the chair next to me, and any grudge that I held against her, I let go. She loved Phil just as much as I did. She was really nice and before we both started to fall asleep she told me stories of her and Phil when they were younger and when he was happy and had good parents. She told me a story of when they were both seven and it started pouring down rain at the park they were at. They ran to the slides and Phil gave her his jacket so she wouldn't get cold. They stayed in the slide for hours, until the rain stopped. That was also the first time that Phil told her he loved her.

A/N
Happy holidays and good luck on finals this week :)
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