Im coming home

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-Phil's POV- 
The doctors said I could leave today, but Meghan wouldn't let me go home. She's making me stay at her house for at least a week or so. Apparently she doesn't trust me, and her parents are both off on work trips. They want to stick me in a mental hospital but since I'm a minor, they need my parents signatures and they'd never go for that. I'm pretty sure that they don't even know I'm here in the first place and my dad would probably kill me if he found out. Luckily neither of them were home the night of the incident. 
Dan left early yesterday morning because his mom told him that he needed to go back to school. He didn't seem that upset about having to leave, but he did seem upset about me staying at Meghan's. I know that he still had feelings for me and I still had feeling for him but I didn't know if it was ever going to work again. He doesn't trust me. I wouldn't trust me either.
"You okay?" Meghan cares a lot about school but she kept telling me that I'm more important.
"Why do I have to stay at your house for a week."

"You know why. Don't act like its a bad thing. It'll be fun. Just like a week long sleepover."

"I don't like sleepovers."

"Well at least you'll be out of the hospital. The doctor went to get some paperwork but you can put these on."
She handed me a pair of jeans and a shirt. She must've gone back to my house and gotten them while I was asleep. I've been sleeping a lot but I haven't thrown up in a couple of days. Mostly because I haven't been eating much. I don't see a point in eating when I'm not hungry and I'm just gonna throw it up anyways.

Wearing normal clothes again felt weird after almost a week of wearing a thin hospital gown. Luckily she had gotten a long sleeved shirt so I didn't have to look at my arms. The doctor said they were healing normally but they were extremely red and swollen, and looked disgusting.

They gave me a goody bag of medication and care papers before I was escorted out of my room. As Meghan led me out of the hospital everything seemed weird. All the sounds were mixed together and I couldn't pick out single voices. My vision was blurry and not focused on anything. Meghan spoke to me several times but I didn't care enough to try and understand what she said.
I expected to be exited and enthusiastic about leaving the hospital and angels would be singing when I walked outside, but the bright sun hurt my eyes and I didn't hear any angels. It was actually a somewhat sad experience. I was so used to the black stain in the corner of the room and the flickering light to the right of me that never stopped. And the concerned faces that most of the nurses wore whenever they saw my food in the trash or my arm bleeding because I moved it. I don't know if I'll ever get better. I don't know if I'll ever feel like not dying or ever dating anybody ever again. Maybe I need to look on the bright side. Maybe Meghan is right. This week could be good for me. Just me and Meghan all week and we can relax and I can try and figure my life out.

We arrived and Meghan's house and she told me that we could make a trip to my house to grab some things that I needed. I didn't want to go home. Mostly because I didn't want to see my mother or father. I know the hospital called them but they hardly ever check the answering machine so I'm just hoping that they don't know.
"I don't want to go home."
Meghan was in the kitchen opening drawers and moving stuff. Probably hiding the knives.
"Well then you'll have to make a list and wait in the car."

"Why can't I just stay here."

"Because I said so."

"You're not my mom."

"No, I'm not your mom. But I'm your friend who cares more about you than your mother does, and I honestly don't trust you here alone. So if you don't want to go in then you better make a list and wait in the car." Meghan wasn't my mom but she sure as hell could be.

After Meghan finished lecturing me I just laid down on the couch and fell asleep. It wasn't that different from the hospital bed. I slept most of the afternoon, when I woke up it was almost dark outside and I heard the TV on in Meghan's room.
She told me I could either stay in her room with her or in her older brothers room, but she would have to come and check on me every hour or so. Her brother is five years older than her and he moved out when he was eighteen, to go to the army. He hadn't really been home much because of "busy army stuff". Meghan secretly thinks that he's actually not in the army and he just goes around with hookers all day and deals meth. I told her it must run in the family.
I told her that I would just sleep in her room on the floor or something because I didn't want her to have to wake up every hour. I leaned over and grabbed my phone off of the side table and checked the time. It was 7:19 pm and I had no new notifications.
Phil's guide to knowing when nobody likes you: when you're gone for almost a week and nobody texts you.
The last two people I texted were Meghan and Dan. Yay, memories. 
My finger hovered over Dan's name. I really wanted to call him. I wanted to hear his voice and I wanted to talk to him. Like a normal good conversation. Before he knew that I was a cheating suicidal whore. Like when we first met and we talked about stupid stuff. Like the stickers that were haphazardly thrown onto his folders. I just wish I could go back in time and forget about everything and forget that I ever met him. I wish I could go back in time and never meet him. It would make both of our lives better.
"Oh hey you're up." Meghan's voice pulled me out of my thoughts and I clicked my phone off.
"Yeah." I try to make it sound normal but it's still shaky.
I was physically exhausted, and mentally drained. I looked back up and stared at Meghan. She looked sad. Not her normal happy cheery self, but some lonely girl who looked depressed and wasn't even trying to hide it. I couldn't help but think it was all because of me. She was right, I was being a selfish brat. I wanted to die and apparently she cared enough about me for it to hurt her too, but I finally caved and dropped my ego.
"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For everything. For being a bitch and cheating on you and trying to kill myself and I'm just really sorry because you look really sad and I think it's cause of me."

"No, I'm not sad cause of you. I'm actually happy. I'm happy that you're alive and I'm happy that we're getting a week long sleepover together."
I give her a weak smile and she smiles back.
"I made you dinner, just some oatmeal and soft stuff, in case you wanted it." I follow her into the kitchen, but I don't know what to say. I'm not hungry and I don't want to eat but what if she worked really hard on it, I didn't want to make it seem like I didn't appreciate her.
"You're not hungry..."

"I never-"

"You didn't have to say it. I can tell. You had that same look all week long at the hospital. It looks like you're going to throw up just looking at the food."

"Um, I could maybe try."

"No, you don't have to. We can save it for tomorrow morning, you might be hungry then."

"Maybe.."

It was about eleven at night and we had set up some sleeping bags and blankets for us to sleep on. Meghan's bed was only a twin, so there was no way we were both fitting in it, and she didn't want me to have to sleep on the floor alone. I told her to sleep in her bed cause it more comfortable, but she wouldn't budge.
I was now sitting in the living room watching The Great British Baking Show while Meghan was in her room watching some weird show.  Again, I picked up my phone and saw Dan's contact. I really did want to talk to him. I wanted to know why he never said goodbye to me when he left the hospital or why he hadn't left any messages on my phone.
I decided that I literally had nothing left to lose, and there was no point in sitting here not calling him. So I did, I hit the dial button and now I'm waiting.

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