Broken | Dan and Phil Fanfiction [COMPLETED]

Old habits

-Dan's POV-

I was still wondering the streets aimlessly when my cell phone started buzzing in my pocket.

"Hello?"

"Hey, did you find Phil?" It was Meghan

"Um, haha well I've been looking for him but I haven't found him quite yet.."

"He's probably at his house. You should go there and then take him to a party."

"A party?"

"Yeah this girl that I know throws this huge party every year and it's always super fun. I'm pretty sure he's been to one of them before. It might help Phil unwind and let off some steam."

"Or it might make him freak out and have a heart attack and die. Or he might give somebody else a heart attack. Is a party the best option right now?"
If Phil couldn't handle himself in a room with two other people, I don't know how he was supposed to do it in a room with two hundred.

"Well I'll be there and I know CPR. Just go to his house and find out if he's there, and then tell him to get dressed and take him to the party. He's only been around us the past few weeks. I really think he should see some other people. It starts at six, I'll text you the address."
I shut off my phone and slipped it back into my pocket. This is great. She wants me to take Phil to a party. Where there's probably going to be alcohol. I've never seen him drunk before but I really don't think it'll be pretty. He's probably not even going to want to go, but I guess Meghan will just make me take him anyways.
His house wasn't that far away so I just decided to walk there and enjoy the wonderful gloomy depressing weather. I made it to his house in just under ten minutes and hesitated a bit before ringing the doorbell. I started to get worried after about thirty seconds when he wasn't there. I hit the doorbell again and a third time, and then I waited. I was really starting to sweat and was about to pull my phone out of my pocket to call Meghan, when I heard the lock click. The door slowly swung open and there stood Phil, in a towel and holding a beer. I guess I was staring because he spoke in an annoyed voice.
"What do you want?

"Um d-do you want to go to a party?" I stammered a bit because there were literal droplets of water rolling down Phil, like in all those sexy movies, but this wasn't sexy. His scars were all really visible, he must have been bathing in hot water, and he was so freaking skinny. When I first met him, he was really skinny, but now he seemed skeletal. Along with the weight, the bags under his eyes looked like an endless abyss and the bandages were slightly damp and slowly dispersing red throughout them. 
"You're inviting me to a party?"

"Well technically Meghan told me to invite you. It's her friends party and there's gonna be like a ton of people there."

"Well, I don't want to go." He stated solemnly and tried to close the door, but I stopped it with my foot.
"Meghan is forcing you to go whether you want to or not because she thinks you need to let off steam."

"Well I can let off steam in my own house without tons of other judgmental people around."

"I'll be there, and Meghan will be there. We can stay with you the whole time, we just want you back around people and to have some fun."

"So I guess I don't have a choice?" I nodded even though i slightly disagreed with the plan.  
He walked off and into the house leaving the door wide open. I suppose maybe he was inviting me in. I walked in and was greeted by a strong smell of alcohol and cigarettes. I looked around and, unlike the other times I was here, his house was an absolute mess. Bottles and cigarettes littered the floor and there were random pieces of clothing everywhere. There were weird colored stains all over the floor and it just looked really unpleasant. I hurried up the stairs after him and followed him into his room. His room was pretty clean except for the giant blood stain on his sheets and on the floor next to his bed. I tried not to stare at it for too long but I guess Phil saw me.
"Pretty big blood stain aye? It's gonna be a bitch to get out of the carpet."

"Yeah.." I replied almost silently
I looked back over in time to see him start to unwrap his towel from his waist and I started to freak out
"Hey! Chill! At least go in the bathroom or something."

"Damn you chill. Look." He quickly unwrapped it and I didn't have enough time to shield my eyes, but he had swim trunks on.
"Oh.."

"Yeah I was swimming before I was rudely interrupted."

"Sorry, Meghan didn't want you to pull another stupid stunt, so she sent me after you and then told me that we were going to a party."

"Whatever." He rolled his eyes before grabbing a pair of jeans and heading into the bathroom.
He came out a few minutes later with the jeans on and a long sleeve shirt, probably to cover up his wrists. 

"Did you change your bandages?" 

"No I just took them off. What time does the party start?" He was obviously not interested in talking about his arms so I just ignored it.

"Meghan said it started at six."
It was a bit after noon and the sudden realization that I would be with Phil for the next five ish hours scared me.
Phil rolled his eyes and then plopped down on his bed right on top on the dried blood. "So you made me get ready for a party that doesn't start for hours?" I just shrugged back. I wasn't really paying attention to the time. 

I carefully sat next to him and wanted to ask him some questions since this is the first actual privacy we've had in a while, but I didn't know how to. Then, magical Phil Lester allowed me to ask my first question.
"Sorry about my house by the way, it's pretty messy."

"No it's fine, but uh, how did it get this messy because it was really clean just a couple of weeks ago."

"I don't know. I haven't been here in a while. Mostly just my parents and their stupid habits."

"Meghan told me about your dad and-"

"Of course she did." He rolled his eyes and sighed.

"Look, all I'm saying is that I'm sorry, and that you should've told me in the first place instead of hiding it."

"No, I shouldn't have told you because you would've treated me differently. You would've babied me and always would've been asking how I was or if I was in a safe environment. I don't need somebody looking after me all the time. I can look after myself and I wanted you as my friend, not my baby sitter. And don't you sit here and say that you could've helped me, because unless you came in here with a gun and shot my father in the head, then you wouldn't have helped."

"Well it would've been better to find out from you than from Meghan. While you were unconscious in a hospital, because you tried to kill yourself. And maybe I actually could've helped because if I knew you were in that situation I could've made you feel better and maybe you wouldn't have felt so worthless that night and maybe you wouldn't have wanted to die."

"You still don't understand, Dan. I've wanted to die. I still want to die. I've felt worthless for a long time and there was nothing you could do to change that. That night was just the first night that I had the courage to go through with it. If I had been that courageous all my life then I would've been dead five years ago."