Leaving (Lauren Cimorelli Fanfic)

Nothing or Everything

Jaiden's POV

Jaiden- "I have to tell you something. It's uhm... it's important."
Lauren- "Okay. What's going on?"

Flashback to previous day...

I woke up and looked down at my phone. Great, another text from Lexi. But this wasn't like the same texts she normally sends. It wasn't about how she messed up or how we should be together. It was a text that filled my head with doubts. This is what I read when I opened her message.

Lexi- Look Jai, I know that we aren't perfect and that we probably won't get back together. But let's be real for a second. You've just accepted a scholarship in a different state, miles away from Lauren. Do you really think that is going to work out for you? You will leave and the distance will cause a disconnect between you two. You will be off in college while she's continuing her life here. When you leave, she will find someone else. She will find someone who can be there for her rather than chasing a dream that is impossible to catch. Think about that. And just know that when she finds a new guy after you leave, I will still be here.

End Flashback

I looked down at Lauren's hand that was holding mine. She rubbed her thumb on the back of my hand. I knew she could tell that there was something on my mind. I looked down at her hand and slightly loosened my grip without completely pulling my hand away from hers.
Maybe I should just let this go. But since yesterday Lexi has created this shadow of doubt in my mind. What if I leave and I'm just a burden on Lauren; and she feels like she has to stay with me. What if I leave and she finds someone who is far better for her then I could ever be? I will be the one who could have stayed, but chose to leave her behind.
I spoke gently, trying not to sound as insecure as I was feeling.
Jaiden- "Please don't jump to conclusions when I say this. Okay?"
Lauren- "Okay.." She said hesitantly.
Jaiden- "I've been thinking a lot about us a lot these past couple days. And I just..." I stopped because I couldn't find the words to explain what was going in my head.
Lauren- "You're not breaking up with me right now are you?" She said looking at me with sad eyes and a shocked expression. I cut in quickly to ease her thoughts.
Jaiden- "No babe. I'm not breaking up with you. I just want to you to know something."
Lauren- "Okay... What is it?" She said hesitantly.
Jaiden- "The other day when you said you want to have open communication, well I want that too. When I go to Texas I want you to be able to tell me anything, even if you think it will hurt me."
Lauren- "What would I say to hurt you?"
Jaiden- "I don't want you to feel like your stuck. I don't want you to feel like when I leave, that you are trapped in a relationship with me."
Lauren- "Jai where is this coming from? Why would you think I felt trapped?"
Jaiden- "I'm just going to be away and your always touring and meeting all of these incredible people and doing incredible things. I don't know... I think I'm scared I'm going to lose you. I'm scared that when I go away, you might find someone else."
Lauren- "Jai I'm not going to find anyone else because I'm not looking for anyone else. I don't feel trapped. What would make you think that?" She asked looking confused. She grabbed my hand and held it tightly.
Jaiden- "Lexi keeps sending me texts and yesterday she started telling me these things that just made me doubt myself I guess."
Lauren- "She's still texting you?"
Jaiden- "Yeah, I'm not replying to anything she sends but it's still frustrating."
Lauren- "Well don't listen to what she has too say. I'm here. You've got me. And I'm not going anywhere." She said with a sweet smile on her face.
Jaiden- "You're just the only person I can count on. You're the only person I trust and care about. My family is never around and even when they are around they don't agree with anything that I do so they just stay away from me. I've already lost them. I don't want to lose you too."
Lauren- "You won't." She said in a quiet tone. She closed her eyes and leaned in to peck my lips.
Lauren- "I love you. We have 3 months. Let's not spend it questioning our relationship because your stupid ex girlfriend won't leave you alone. Let's spend it either do nothing or everything; as long as we are together it doesn't matter."
Jaiden- "Nothing or everything?" I let out a confused laugh.
Lauren- "Yeah I mean I don't care if we are sitting in the house with absolutely nothing to do, just like I don't care if we go on crazy adventures; as long as we do it together." I looked at her with a wide smile. I bit my bottom lip to prevent my smile from growing any wider.
Jaiden- "Alright. Let's go get food and start right now... Nothing or everything."

Lauren's POV

I really hope that what I told Jaiden was true. I really hope that distance won't take a toll on our relationship.

I love him but I know that I don't handle distance well. But the last thing that I wanted to tell Jai was that I felt unsure about where we were headed. So I put on my best fake face and tried to tell him that everything will be okay... But the truth is, I'm still trying to convince myself of that same thing.

A/N
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