Leaving (Lauren Cimorelli Fanfic)

Remember

1 month later...

Jaiden's  POV

Even though time has passed I still feel the same way I did the night I talked to Lauren on the phone. I didn't want to break up. I just knew that she wasn't as happy as she could be. Its been a month, but I can't take my mind off of her.

It's weird how when you lose someone you care about, you can remember every insignificant detail. I can remember the way she would smile like a little kid when it started to pour rain. And if we were driving in the car she would roll the window down as soon as the rain began to fall. I remember how her deep brown eyes shined bright when she saw something she loved. I remember how her hand would tighten in mine when she wanted to feel safe. And her hand would always be intertwined in mine if she thought I needed to be comforted.

I didn't know that when you broke with someone you are in love with, you couldn't help but think about the little things that made you fall for them. Those little things become precious memories that you don't want to let go of.

Being in a relationship is a risk. It's taking a chance that you open up and share the deepest, darkest secretes in your heart, and still hope that they accept you for them. It's taking the chance of remembering everything that they love; music, places, scents, everything.

I did completely open up to her. Lauren and I would stay up late talking about things that scared us both to vulnerable about. And she accepted me, and I accepted her for every flaw that we revealed. Those late nights that we stayed up sharing everything that we were scared to talk about were the nights that I will never forget. I remember every word of pure vulnerability that came out of her mouth. I remember everything she loved, even if she didn't think it was important to know. I remembered it all.

The reason it's a risk is because you could do all of that, and then eventually lose them. And then if you do lose them, you are stuck with everything that you have memorized about them.

We took the chance, and we lost it. She was a risk for me, just as I was risk for her. I don't know how she feels about what we had. But I know that even though the memories are what break my heart more than anything, I would never wish for those to go away.

All I want is for the hurt to vanish.

In my life, I'm used to being unseen by my family. It was a really lonely feeling to grow up in a family where they only acknowledged my brother. But I've felt a different kind of loneliness lately. Because no matter how many times I've been ignored by my family and had my accomplishments looked over, I've realized something new...

The loneliest moment of my entire life was watching my relationship fall apart, just to see the girl I care about most run into another guys arms.

I saw it coming. I knew it was going to happen. But it still hurts just as bad.

And now she is spending more and more time with Noah. From what Dawson has been telling me, he doesn't think that they are a couple yet. But he said they might as well be because they act like one. While she is moving on, I'm stuck in the same place. I'm holding onto the memories.

But as each day passes, I can feel her forgetting about me.

I miss her.

Lauren's POV

I couldn't stop it. No matter how hard I tried to distract myself, I couldn't forget the memories he left me behind with.

Flashback...

I rested my head against his chest as we were laying on the couch. It is 11 at night and we continued to talk about our lives.

He had a way of making me feel like I was the only person who mattered. He listened intently, never making me feel like I went unheard.

Lauren- "Isn't your mom going to be mad that you are over here so late?"

Jaiden- "Ehh maybe, but she'll have to live with it. I don't want to go home yet." He said smiling. I grabbed his hand and played with his fingers.

He looked at me and met his eyes with mine. He spoke in a serious tone with a small smile growing on his face.

Jaiden- "You're so beautiful. In every single way, you are insanely and stunningly beautiful."

I smiled, unable to hold back the blush that appeared on my face.

Lauren- "I didn't even think this existed." I said plainly but still smiling widely.

Jaiden- "Think what existed?"

Lauren- "People who show their love the way you do. You never fail to amaze me with how selfless you are." I paused for a moment before continuing. "Promise me you won't fall for some country girl in Texas?" He smirked and let out a small laugh.

Jaiden- "There is no girl in Texas or anywhere else who can compare to you. No one could ever replace you. You never need to worry about that princess."

End Flashback

I snapped out of the memory that flashed through my head when Noah called my name.

Noah- "Lauren?" He said laughing while looking at me confused.

Lauren- "Yeah, sorry!"

Noah- "Daydreaming or something?"

Lauren- "Uhh yeah. I'm tired, I tend to space out when I'm tired." I lied, knowing that I regularly thought about Jaiden rather than Noah.

No one else may understand it, but I do. Spending time with Noah takes away the pain. He makes me feel like I'm not alone. When he dropped me off at my house he kissed my cheek as he said goodbye.

I went upstairs to my room and closed the door behind me. I walked over to my bed and reached underneath it, pulling out the picture of me and Jaiden. I looked at it everyday, never even considering getting rid of it.

I can't forget the memories. He is miles away, not even close to me which should make it easier to forget him. But I can't. He never strays from my mind. No matter how hard I try, it is impossible for me to forget him.

"Princess." That word rings in my head regularly. The way he said it in his sweet voice.

I picked up my phone and went to Jaiden's name. Maybe it's time to try and talk. My finger hovered over the call button as I debated whether of not I should call. I don't know if I should or not. I just know one thing...

I miss him.

A/N
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