Leaving (Lauren Cimorelli Fanfic)

Sacrifice

2 weeks later...

Lauren's POV

Jaiden left back for school a couple weeks ago. But it won't be long before he comes back for Christmas break. He will be back in Nashville in 3 weeks.

The last time we talked it didn't go to well. But I got a text from him today that I wasn't expecting. Early this morning my phone buzzed but I ignored it and decided I would read it later, not knowing that it was Jaiden. When I looked at it this is what I saw.

Jaiden- I know that the last person you probably want to take advice from is me, but I really think that you should look out for your boyfriend. I know that this is going to come across as the jealous ex boyfriend text, but I don't think that guy is good for you.

I finally decided to reply, not knowing what his motive was behind this.

Lauren- What makes you think he isn't good for me? Why do you suddenly care? You don't even want to be friends but now your looking out for me?
Jaiden- Just because I don't want to be friends doesn't mean I don't care about your feelings. And I just think you can do better than him.
Lauren- You don't even know him. What would make you say that?
Jaiden- He just gives me a bad vibe.
Lauren- How could he give you a bad vibe? You have never even talked to him.
Jaiden- Yeah. Well I guess it's just a feeling then.
Lauren- Why are you being so weird about this? You broke up with me. Now you are trying to warn me about Noah.
Jaiden- I'm just trying to protect you.
Lauren- You aren't my boyfriend, you don't even want to be my friend... You don't need to protect me.
Jaiden- Yeah I do Lauren.
Lauren- Well maybe I don't want you too
Jaiden- Please Lauren, you've known me for long enough to know that I'm going to do what I want no matter what you tell me.
Lauren- This is why our relationship never worked Jai. Because look at this conversation. All we do is fight now. And you're so stubborn that you can't even forgive me for a mistake that I've apologized for countless times!
Jaiden- We never argued when we were dating. We only argued after. And as far as forgiving you goes, I can't until you recognize why I'm mad.
Lauren- Well then I guess I will have to live with that. I'm with Noah now. If you can't forgive me then why should I trust you when you say you get "bad vibes" from Noah.
Jaiden- You don't have to trust me Laur. But you know that I wouldn't make anything like that up. But you also know that I am jealous of Noah. So it's your decision. Trust me or don't trust me. I can't force you either way.

Why did he have to do this? Why did he have to put doubt in my mind about Noah.

Noah is someone I trust and care about. He has been the only reason that Jaiden leaving hasn't been so hard. I'm with him because he makes me happy, even if it is only temporary.

I know that Noah isn't like Jaiden. When I was with Jaiden I was always thinking about him and what we could be in the future. I don't think about a future with Noah. I can't imagine myself with Noah forever.

Part of the reason I can't imagine it is because... I'm still in love with Jaiden. I try to push it down but I can't.

We fight almost every time we talk now because of how frustrated we get with each other. But I think we fight because we don't want to be apart. I think we both want to be together and just don't know how to be.

I typed in a message and stared at it. My thumb hovered over the send button.

Lauren- I trust you.

I erased the words and ended up not sending a message back.

Maybe being with Noah is a mistake. I know that I love Jaiden. I don't know if its fair of me to be with Noah if I still care about Jaiden.

I know why Jaiden can't forgive me. But I can't admit it to myself. I won't because I don't want it to be real.

Jaiden's POV

I love her. I want her so bad. But how can I tell her that now? How do I tell her that if she doesn't want me?

I feel like I'm being so selfish with her. But now I have to take my mind off of her.

We have a game today. I walked in the locker room and started to change into my gear. This is arguably one of the toughest teams that we will go against. They are aggressive and hungry to win. They don't play easy. They play dirty and want to take players out of them game. My head needs to be in this. I can't walk in with distractions.

I put my phone in my locker and shook her out of my mind. It's only a few hours, it's manageable. I can keep my mind focused and off of her and our conversation for that long.

I walked out of the locker room with some of my team mates and jogged out towards the field. We started to do running drills and throwing to warm up. It's our last game until after Christmas break so we want to leave with a win.

Me and the other receivers started to run different drills. Each drill that we did, I focused in more on what I was there for. I'm here to play football. And if I don't do well this season then they can pull my scholarship.

If my scholarship gets pulled because I'm not playing well enough, then I would have done all of this for nothing. I would have left Lauren and my friends behind for nothing. I've done well so far, but I have to finish these next few months out great.

I can't lose this scholarship. I sacrificed everything to be here.

A/N
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