Leaving (Lauren Cimorelli Fanfic)

Voluntary Pain

Jaiden's POV

I walked in the cafe and sat at a table across from Dawson. I sat in a seat where I was able to see Noah. I saw him with a girl that he didn't seem too shy around. He was close, never very much distance between them. I could see it in his eyes that he looked at her as much more than a friend. He looked at her in a way that you shouldn't when you have a girlfriend.

Dawson was clearly trying to distract me because he kept conversation going. But I couldn't tear my eyes away from Noah and the girl he was with.

I didn't fight for Lauren because I thought he was making her happy. I just want her to be happy. And she wasn't with me.

But now I'm worried that she might be hurt more if she saw the way Noah was acting with this girl. I got more annoyed the longer I looked at him.

Part of that annoyance stemmed from the fact that he is the one who is with Lauren when I'm not. And the other reason is because now that he has Lauren, he is on the verge of hurting her.

The whole reason why I even broke up with Lauren was because I didn't want her to be more hurt by being with me. I was doing it because I didn't want to hurt her. But now Noah is out with some random girl who he has been visibly flirting with, which would be voluntarily hurting her. He is hurting her selfishly, by choice.

I'm not saying that I'm perfect. But I know that I ended things because I thought it was best for her. I did it so she didn't feel suffocated by being with me.

Besides.... I think I hurt myself more than Lauren when we broke up.

I snapped out of my thoughts when Dawson waved his hand in front of my face.

Dawson- "Dude, you couldn't be more obvious."
Jaiden- "He doesn't even know me."
Dawson- "Please you think he doesn't know you? Come on Jaiden, Lauren talked about you every single day since the day you left. Anyone can see that when they look at her, she is thinking about you. I can see it, her friends can see it... and Noah can definitely see it. He knows you."
Jaiden- "She didn't seem to be thinking about me when she fell for him."
Dawson- "I know that it sucks that she fell for him when you left. But you two went from being inseparable to being hundreds of miles away from each other... She was lonely." He looked at me and paused before continuing.
Dawson- "Look, I'm not defending her. I'm not saying that it's right that she ignored you and spent most of her time with him because it wasn't. But you also can't blame her... She was hurting when you left. It was so obvious that she was hurting. And you are ignoring the fact that she is still hurting so bad by not being with you now."
Jaiden- "How do you know that she is hurting without me? She's with someone else Dawson. It doesn't seem like she's doing to bad."
Dawson- "Jaiden, look at that guy. He is sitting over there with another girl. He comes in here with that girl a couple times a week and acts the same, he's all over her. Do you really think she's not doing that bad?"

I turned my face towards the ground and shook my head. When I looked up I saw Noah get up and start to walk out with the girl he was with. I stood up from my seat and started to walk away.

Dawson spoke up as I started to walk in Noah's direction.

Dawson- "Jaiden what are you doing? I don't think that's a good idea."

I ignored him and walked out of the cafe, catching up to Noah. When I was a few feet away I got his attention.

Jaiden- "Noah." I said in no particular tone, but definitely loud enough for him to hear. He was right next to his car when I finally called him.

He turned around and faced towards me and the girl he was with got in his car. He rolled his eyes the second he saw me and had an annoyed smirk.

Noah- "What do you want?"

I stepped closer to him so there was only a couple feet separating us.

Jaiden- "I didn't mean to interrupt your date here. I just thought guys who have girlfriends sitting at home alone don't tend to go with other girls to dinner." I said in a sarcastic tone. He let out a small, irritated laugh.

Noah- "Guys who have girlfriends. Yeah you wouldn't know much about that anymore huh? I don't think I need your advice. You lost your girl to me, remember?"

I felt my jaw clench as I started to get more frustrated with his comments. I stepped closer to him and spoke in an low volume. Irritation filled my tone.

Jaiden- "I may have lost her to you, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to look out for her. I'm already pissed at you, so just know that if you hurt her in any way I'm always going to come back... And you don't want me to come back if you hurt her. So maybe you should get yourself in check and go home to your girlfriend. Go take care of her and not these other random chicks you have."
Noah- "I know how I'm treating her. And you don't scare me."

Noah got cut off when we heard the girl's voice calling him as she rolled down the window. She didn't hear our conversation because she was sitting in the car the whole time.

Noah turned around to go get in his car. As he walked by me he made one last comment.

Noah- "Stay out of my life and hers. You had your shot. Now mind your own business."

He walked to his car door and got in.

I don't know what I'm doing. First I broke up with Lauren, then I told her that I didn't want to be friends even though I never wanted to break up in the first place, then she gets with a new guy who is a complete jerk.

The only reason I even confronted him is because I know Lauren is going to get hurt. I don't want her to be.

I want to be with her so bad. I want to fight for her. But I'm scared that if I do, I'm going to get turned down because she loves him.

A/N
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