Luke's Angel// LEMMA\\ #Wattys2016

Chapter Two

TRIGGER WARNING: cutting and stuff (I'll do a warning at each chapter with cutting and self harm in)

Luke
Tears glazed my vision as I slid down the bathroom door. I'd told Emma that I was going for dinner when really what I was going to do was think things through. And probably cut. It had become a regular thing now and I couldn't stop. I hated my life.

It's true, since Emma had blazed into my life those 9 hours before, it had got slightly better, but not that much. She had tried to protect me- God knows why- but it made me feel even worse. I thought about her lovely hazel eyes, her hair and her beautiful fucking face.

The things she did for me after I was beaten up in the loos made me smile. She seemed fearless; undefeatable, but of course she was only human. She was like my angel.

Shaking, I pulled out the blade from my pocket and gripped it tightly, letting the sharp edges dig in and cut slightly. I opened my palm and saw some slithers of blood forming. It hurt, but it was a good pain. I held the blade against my wrist and made a 4 centimetre long cut over an old scar and made another one under it. It stung, reminding me I was still alive and streams of blood began to flow down my arm. I rested my head against the door, punching my hand against the tiled floor. My knuckles turned red, but it was the only thing I could take my anger out on without my parents having a go at me for making a racket. I put my hand up to my cheek and I realised it was wet. I'd given in to the tears.

Stupid fucking life. Just let me die already. Being protected by a girl; how sad and weak does that make me? I hate myself. I hate life. I love Emma.

Depressing thoughts like these ran through my head, as loud as an aeroplane taking off, blocking out the world around me. After a few minutes, I pulled myself out of my brain and realised someone was knocking on the bathroom door.

"C'mon Luke! I need to pee! What are you doing in there, modelling?" She called. Hiding my left wrist behind my back, I opened the door.

"There you go. Enjoy your pee."

"I intend to. Long awaited too." She smiled, closing the door behind her. Katie was the only one I got on with in my family. She actually cared about me, even if she didn't know about the self harm or my depression. No one did. It was only Emma who knew about the bullying.

I went into my room and lay on my bed, plugging in my headphones and putting them in my ears. Head banging slightly to American Idiot, I gave a reluctant look at my bag in the corner of my room. There, the homework waited for me.

"I'll do it tomorrow." I told myself. I did this every time. I nearly always never handed it in or I ended up staying up til 2 or 3 the day it was due in to get it finished.

I ran my hands over my cuts. They were starting to scab over now and still stinging. My phone started buzzing as soon as I rested my head on the pillow.

Sliding my finger across the screen, I put it to my ear. "Sup?"

"Hey Luke. You wanna come to the park?" Patty.

"Like, right now?"

"Yeah. Me, you, Evan, Dodie, Bry and Emma. We're bringing sweets and pop, don't worry, no booze. It'll be fun."

"Um... yeah sure, I'm in. I'll be there in say... 20 minutes?" I ran my hand through my hair, deciding to run my straighteners through it quickly.

"K. See you then. Looovvveee yoooouuuu." He teased, dragging out every vowel.

"Hate you too." It was sort of a tradition we did at the end of a phone call, as a joke. He hung up, and I pulled on a grey hoodie, pulling the ends over my hands, making sure my cuts and scars were hidden.

I left my straighteners to heat up and sat scrolling through twitter until they beeped. Quickly, I ran them through my hair, actually avoiding burning myself. When my hair was acceptable, I turned them off and left them to cool down and grabbed a thin coat in case it got cold.

"Mum, Dad I'm going out! I'll see you later!" I called, rushing to the door, anxious to get out before they asked questions.

"Where are you going?" Mum appeared at the living room door.

"The park. With Patty and some mates. That's all. I'll be fine." Not that you even care. I thought. I hadn't even bothered to cover up the bruise on my jaw with Katie's foundation and she didn't notice.

"Ok. See you." I opened the door and set out into the slightly fresh air. I pulled on my coat and even though it shouldn't have been that cold for half 5 in late September, it was. I took a detour to the corner shop to grab two sharing bags of cool original doritoes before making my way to the park.

I saw figures hunched over in the middle of the field so I speed walked over (I can't run) and threw the bags of doritoes at them.

"Happy, bitches?" I smiled.

"Very." Emma nodded, her arms holding a bag of doritoes like it was a baby. "I might have an addition to doritoes. Don't judge."

"We're not judging, don't worry. I have an obsession with bunting and fairy lights." Dodie laughed.

I flopped down in an empty space in between Patty and Emma, putting my hand in a bag of marshmallows.

"Who's idea was this? It's freezing." Evan moaned, rubbing his arms.

"It's cold but you're stupid enough not to wear a coat." Dodie nudged him, smirking.

"I'm sorry my fashion choices are too fabulous for you." He put a hand on his hips, flicking his hair.

"Too stupid more like. Also it was Bry's idea."

"I thought it would be fun! Food, friends, carbonated drinks, what more could you need?"

"A coat." Everyone turned to look at Evan, rolling their eyes.

"It's your own fault." Emma said through a mouthful of doritoes.

"Get some manners." I ordered. Emma gave me a wide-mouthed grin, showing all the chewed up doritoes in her mouth.

----

We sat in the field for a few hours, demolishing the food and having a laugh before we decided to go home. We parted our separate ways and I made my way home. I unlocked the door and peeked into the living room. Mum and Dad were curled up together on the sofa, Katie on a chair. They were all watching Coronation Street or something.

I walked up the stairs to my room, closing the door and once more wishing I had a lock on it. The last few hours had really cheered me up and had honestly made me forget about the two fresh cuts in my arm until I took off my hoodie.

"Shit." I hissed as I saw the harsh red lines and instantly felt the sting. I curled up on my bed, thought about the last few hours before beginning to cry.

A/N
Awwww poor Luke!!!
This was honestly so much longer than I was expecting it to be, so yay!

#RIPDavidBowie #RIPAlanRickman #RIPSally so many people (and hamsters) lost this week hope you're enjoying where ever you are now guys.

OMG Death of a Bachelor is the best, the only existent words I can use are: perfect, amazing and AWESOME.

Love you all!

*gives you all cheerios via post coz dry cheerios are bae*